What I Learned This Week - 12/5/25

1. The best safe word one can use is “Meatloaf”, because it essentially means, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do THAT”. #Maybe
2. You know you’ve put off buying groceries long enough after the post-Thanksgiving leftover mass when you decide to make french toast out of hot dog buns. #Works
3. As time goes on, I think I’m starting to aspire to be that grandparent from fairytales that my grandkids won’t be able to differentiate from a wolf in a nightgown.#Ewww
4. I don’t know why the word “coward” doesn’t mean, “moving in the direction of the cow” and I’m not sure how we get this changed. #English
5. One of the few things that brings me joy in this holiday season is knowing there is a possibility an alternate universe exists where Mariah Carey is shopping and loathes hearing me sing holiday tunes everywhere she goes. #Vengeance
6. Tragically, a coworker’s Tesla was stolen over the holiday and I couldn’t keep a straight face when one of his staff asked if he had to call it his Edison now. #Brilliant
7. I'm pretty sure I missed a memo that allows adults to wear pajamas shopping this time of year. #NightgownsReally
8. The “I-I-I-I” sample from the 1990’s Dee-Lite song, “Groove is in the heart” is actually Zsa Zsa Gabor singing the theme from the 1966 TV show, “Green Acres”. #WhoKnew
9. When a new parent tells you they named their newborn daughter after their grandmother, you are not supposed to say aloud, “you named her Grandma?”. #OnlyThinkIt
10. I don’t know why, after over a hundred years of manufacturing and design upgrades, automotive engineers haven’t figured out a way to seal the gap between the seat and center console so you don’t have to spend an hour trying to fish out your dropped phone or keys. #EasyRubberSeal
11. Some days I relate closely to a coworker's end of day statement, “my social battery is a refurbished rechargeable AA from the Dollar Store that may be on its last charge”. #HesOkay
12. Best t-shirt observed in the airport this week that I don’t relate to at all read, “My stomach is FLAT……..the L is silent”. #RightInTheFeels
13. If you rename your “To-Do” list to “Side Quests” you actually accomplish a lot more that’s not on the list. #Maybe
14. I wish Google maps had a feature that would hide places you haven’t explored yet much akin to video game maps. #HaventBeenThere
15. I read too long of an internet thread about someone’s desire for capital numbers so that they could yell at someone in math and after an hour I would like to yell in math. #DamnYouPythagarus

What I Learned This Week - 11/28/25

1.  There is hope for the world because a McDonald's and Dairy Queen in Marshfield, MO had a sign war that resulted in the majority of Marshfield’s businesses using their signs to make insulting puns about each other. #ImNotCrying
2. It says nothing about the amount of cold medicine you’re currently taking if you accidentally open a bottle of screw top wine with a corkscrew wine opener. #HarderThanYouThink
3. I have no idea how, in the current political, technological, and social environment, to stay informed without going completely insane. #WTFJustHappened
4. I’m not the only one that goes through the emotional rollercoaster this time of year for the annual free week of Sirius FM consisting of “Oh Yes, this will be awesome for new music!” to “Who actually still pays for this” in the matter of an hour. #Seriously
5. The modern day definition of “work friends” is emotional support humans that keep you from quitting your job daily. #maybe
6. If you answer the phone, “make it quick, my phone is about to die” you get to cut off people when you feel like it without regrets. #ProTip
7. “Mayonnaise” is a controversial ice cream flavor. #NotIceCream
8. Interweb phishers are abusing the fact that “rn” will usually be confused with “m”. #CheckYourEmailAddresses
9. I believe that it is a true statement that Colorado’s cost of living is so high, the snow had to relocate. #SecondLatestAndCounting
10. There’s a fine line between weird AI music and Weird Al music. #PrettyFlyForARabbi