What I Learned This Week - 11/2/12

1.  A man in China sued his wife for being ugly....and won. No, he wasn't blind, she had plastic surgery. My wife just had a light bulb go on over her head.
2. Peyton Manning bought 21 pizza shops in Denver. I'm more excited about the possibility of commercials than I care about the pizza. I predict "go deep dish" will be a tagline.
3. I am mixed on the way the To-Do list program, Astrid, sends me reminders as pseudo love notes, "Hello, Lee, I hope your day is splendid. You deserve it! ♥ Astrid ***reminder action attached***". 
4. I'm very sad Denny's now has a line of Hobbit-food. Here come the second breakfast commercials.
5. I love the honesty of one of my coworkers, "Well, time to get back to acting like I know what I'm doing".
6. If the car behind me honks within one second of the light turning green, I will turn off my car, engage the hazard lights and then visibly start a Rubik's cube. At least, that's what happens in my head.
7. Best conversation overheard in the gym this week - guy to girl on adjacent elliptical machines, "Why did I decide to lose weight? Well, you know that awkward moment when you're running and your boobs are bouncing uncontrollably.... and you're a guy? That."
8. There is a certain sense of pride knowing that I now have as many Tour de France wins and twice as many testicles as Lance Armstrong.
9. The internet is a cruel harsh place for gullible people. A fake tweet was issued earlier this week stating Justin Bieber (the Beebs) had cancer, and encouraged people to shave their heads in support. Don't believe me? Search #baldforbieber.... There is no rehab for stupidity.
10. The story of the werewolf is an allegory of the menstrual cycle.
11. I will never understand why Iron Man's suit doesn't protect the one thing that keeps him alive -and that all of his enemies haven't figured that out. 
12. No, I don't know why they are called Jet-Ski's instead of "boatercycles".
13. I'm not so thrilled about Disney buying the rights to Star Wars, even if it means another three movies. I really don't want to see "When you wish upon a Death Star".
14. The only Disney Princess Leia will have problems within a cat fight is Mulan.
15. Yes, I know Disney owns all the rights to the Marvel comics, Indiana Jones and didn't ruin those series.....Mostly. 
16. I am officially a grumpy old man. I actually used the statement, "Back in my day there were only three Star Wars movies and Disney made cartoons".
17. The best all-natural antidepressant - puppies.
18. Facebook is preparing to change the appearance of the Timeline yet again. I still don't care.
19. I find that yelling, "Bangarang!" in the middle of a boring meeting and effective way to cut it short.
20. This is the most awesome aircraft safety briefing...ever.