What I Learned This Week - 12/21/12

1.  The world didn't end...but there's still daylight left.
2. Women do a universal hand dance in a belief it makes nail polish dry faster.
3. Men do a very similar dance with the nail polish remover when it doesn't work.
4. I agree that Nintendo's Mario is likely homeless. He always wears the same clothes, runs around in sewers, beats up strangers for coins only to spend it all on mushrooms.
5. There is finally a brand of protective covers for smart phones that has a Swiss army knife built in. Corkscrew, knife, saw, screwdrivers, bottle opener, toothpick, spork, etc. Now your phone CAN do everything.
6. The only thing better than waking up before your alarm goes off in the morning, is realizing you forgot to set the alarm the night before.
7. I have no idea how long it will take the programmers of Skype to correct the error that the "X" button is "close" not "minimize".
8. When I'm at a stoplight and I notice the driver next to me is staring down at their phone, I'll false start - then watch the terrified look on their face when they go and realize the light is still red.
9. Dora the Explorer got her name from the Spanish word explore, "exploradora". I have no idea where Boots got his name - his boots look nothing like the monkey boots of the 80's.
10. When I was young I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it actually is.
11. I retract my statement from several weeks ago - the video of George Takei reading Fifty Shades of Grey aloud is the creepiest thing ever.
12. My household would be dramatically different if Taylor Swift wrote a song titled, "Maybe I'm the problem".
13. Piñata cookies are pure genius.
14. My wife has never read JRR Tolkien or watched any of the movies, so my playful lines such as, "Were you forged by Sauron? Because you look precious..." only result in the retort; "Get away from me nerd".
15. NASA revealed a new prototype spacesuit that has received a lot of criticism because it looks suspiciously like the suit Buzz Lightyear wears. Buzz Lightyear can fly and has a laser gun built into his arm - why are people complaining?
16. I witnessed a glimpse at my future, I saw an elderly woman at the airport wearing a sweat shirt that read, "My book club only reads wine labels".
17. Now that marijuana is legal in Colorado, local commercials should get really entertaining.
18. My kids can be very funny and mean. One of them commented to the other about the cleanliness of her room, "You are one pile of dirty clothes away from being on an episode of Hoarders".
19. I am finding myself making that transition in age where my brain is having a hard time differentiating, "You probably shouldn't say that" and "What the heck, let's see what happens".
20. One of the worst places on earth for an introvert is the hair salon.
21. It is just a matter of time before someone adds "Syndrome" after my last name.
22. A Colorado man has filed a petition that would require the U.S. government to begin building an actual Death Star by 2016 at an estimated cost of $852 QUADRILLION (roughly $2.6 billion per person). For the record, I was NOT that Colorado man.
23. A documentary on Animal Planet noted that Clownfish will change sex when the other sex is missing for long periods of time - IE: conversion from male to female - to keep its genetic strain alive. Finding Nemo just got VERY creepy and Finding Nemo 2 will be worse.
24. Whenever I hear a fire truck, I immediately look around for smoke. For the past 10 years I've lived a few blocks from a fire station so you think this would have worn off by now.
25. My oldest cried during the Hobbit during four different scenes. After reviewing the scenes with her friends and Dads, instead of teasing there was a universal, "Yeah, I could see that".
26. There is a very fine line between teenage boys and the Dwarves of the Hobbit - especially around the dinner table. That fine line is called "epic beards".
27. The majority of the Dwarf epic beards in the Hobbit are computer generated. I wish I would have found this out before I saw the movie.
28. I am truly surprised at the amount of movie goers that had no clue the Hobbit was "to be continued". I probably should warn them there's a third movie as well.
29. Two "small" Labrador Retrievers playing have the equivalent force of a professional middle linebacker on an unsuspecting knee. Running has been problematic lately.
30. A suburban full of teenagers singing, "Soft Kitty" in canon will have me chuckling for at least a week and gives me hope for the future.