What I Learned This Week - 6/14/13

1.  Math may not exist. http://bit.ly/12sfrWj.  My head really hurts.
2. If I go commando when running, I can achieve that feat of running 5 miles in under 40 minutes. Yes way. (For those keeping track at home, the answer was “A” followed several hours later by a version of “D” – Froyo instead of Ben & Jerry’s).
3. Cable and dish-like TV services are dead – apparently I’m 3 years late figuring this out.
4. There is a restaurant that uses quadracopters to serve food.
5. I understand forest fires are a natural cycle of life, but that doesn’t make me like them.
6. I’m pretty sure it’s considering trespassing when my neighbor’s WiFi is available on my deck. I won’t press charges if they fill me in on how they get signal strength higher than mine.
7. My daughter’s version of being super lazy requires one to don a cape and watch movies.
8. In my home and in my general vicinity, the word “dude” is genderless.
9. The Dude does abide.
10. I’m pretty sure it is a universal convention of sharing one’s candy to only share the flavors you don’t like.
11. My kids don’t understand the concept of, “I’m still talking to you”. I’m pretty sure they think I’m a commercial and just change the channel to something more fun until I yell.
12. You know you should clean-up  your Facebook newsfeed when you spend the majority of time scrolling down thinking: "Ad don't care", "Ad don't care", "Dude No", "Oh, your life sucks", "Ad don't care",  “Wait, who ARE you?”, "look Song lyrics", "Ad don't care", "I need to call them",  "Ad don't care", "Ad don't care", "Needs a therapist., "Ad don't care", “You ate that yesterday”, "Ad don't care", "Ad don't care", “Aww….puppies” "Ad don't care", ”AHA….a joke!”.
13. Colin Furze may be my new favorite insane geek. Among many things, he built a home-made bike powered by a pulse jet engine. Maybe more epic is his evil cackle.
14. Comic superhero creator, Stan Lee now has his own cologne titled, "Nuff Said" that is supposed to capture the scent of his essence. I'm certain that's the sign of the third horseman of the apocalypse.
15. Researchers have recently discovered a new body part - a layer of material in your eye that is about 15 microns thick. Seemingly unimportant, researchers believe doctors will now be able to diagnose disease, treat symptoms and improve implants around the cornea.  Med students should be prepared to purchase new anatomy books next year.
16. I'm pretty sure all of the people that complained about the snow five weeks ago are the same people complaining about the 100 degree heat his week. Please make up your minds.
17. It recently occurred to me that when a fast food restaurant employee apologizes for your "wait", it could actually be a homonym.
18. You know you've succeeded in being the hangout house for your kids and their friends when you have to make a "Lost and Found" box.
19. I used to follow the workout/training philosophy that sweat is just weakness escaping your body. Thanks to a t-shirt worn by a co-worker I now subscribe to the theory that sweat is just fat crying. 
20. During painful exercises my mantra is now, “Take that, stupid fat”.
21. According to coworkers I have a catch phrase. Apparently my catch phrase is, “…in theory”.
22. Water temperature aside – I don’t know why anyone would choose to swim in a pool. Open water swimming (not drowning) is my new favorite sport.
23. When cleaning your keyboard of problematic crumbs and debris, make sure you gran the can labeled “compressed air” and not the one labeled “workable fixative”. Windows sticky keys now have a new meaning.