What I Learned This Week - 7/5/13

1.  Apparently a fart is your poop announcing it’s on its way.
2. I’m not a Hines Ward fan, but I’ve really been enjoying the weekly documentary on his journey to become an ironman. Even world class athletes find lower levels of triathlon really hard.
3. My phone and tablet are only a generation old and I'm already being told that modern apps aren't compatible with them. Really? The Tour de France app is that hi-tech?
4. Nobody likes a slow cowboy.
5. Scientists have discovered that plants have a built-in capacity to do math, which then helps them regulate food reserves at night to prevent starvation.
6. Researchers have found food tastes better using different cutlery. I disagree, I believe it tastes different depending on your hunger and dehydration level.
7. The local commercial that advertises new computers with, “Excellent hi-powered HTML graphics” makes me laugh every time.
8. One of the bands I’m fond of, ”I Fight Dragons” has been named the official music of my favorite nerd card game. It’s fitting and a form of nerdvana.
9. The use of old video game sounds/music in pop-music has a name, “chip tunes”.
10. You can get rid of the itchiness of bug bites by heat up a metal spoon under hot tap water for a minute or so, then press it directly against the bite. Hold it tight against your skin for a couple of minutes, and when you take it off, the itch should be gone for good. Basically, the itchiness is caused by anti-blood-clotting proteins that are broken down by moderately high temperatures.
11. The phrase, “I’m going to tell your mom/dad” is completely lost on today’s youth. I remember when it was the scariest thing you could have said to me.
12. Just because you can't dance, that doesn't mean you shouldn't dance.
13. You are never too old for Disney movies.
14. Regardless of the travesty of an apocalypse, I’ll never be able to dress in the required post-apocalypse fashion style of BDSM depicted in every movie.
15. On July 4th, MTV reverted to its roots and played music videos all day….surprisingly, I didn’t miss it.
16. I miss being able to slam my phone down when I hang up on someone during an argument.  Frantically hitting "end call" isn't the same.
17. I successfully survived a week of watching a kitten without succumbing to the desire to get one for the kids.