What I Learned This Week - 8/22/25

1.  The plastic flamingo lawn ornament is the official bird of Madison Wisconsin and I don’t know why I needed to know this. #StartedAsAPrank
2. Every year on the 4th of July, instead of fireworks, over 30 cars are launched over a cliff in Glacier View, Alaska and it is so popular that Google has pinned the launch site. #MakingSummerPlansNow #TheFOAT #IBelieveICanFly
3. Apparently when sharing a burrito with someone, cutting the burrito lengthwise makes me a horrible person. #StillCountsAsHalf 
4. When I ask my wife if the cup is half full or half empty, she will tell me to stop wearing her bra. #maybe
5. Google’s YouTube was originally intended to be a dating app with the tagline, “Tune-in, hook up” and launched on Valentine’s Day in 2005 - now you have useless information too. #WeirdBusinessPlan
6. Post surgery interviews of loved ones coming down from anesthesia highs will never not be funny. #EveryOneIsFine
7. I am now at the age where the day after staying up past midnight (without drinking) is the equivalent to having run a triathlon with the flu. #SoVeryTiredAndSore
8. My middle daughter’s purpose on earth is to experience, document and mock all of her sisters’ most embarrassing moments….oh and also provide snacks. #TheCheesecakeWasYummy
9. I'd like to change my answer to the icebreaker question this week, “if your belly button was an actual button, what would it do?” from “honks like a Ford Model-T AHOOOGAH!”  to “have it order me a pizza and beer to my immediate location free of charge”. #SoHungryRightNow
10. After explaining to my wife’s cat that leaving dead mice in my shoes is a thoughtful but unneeded gift, she now leaves mice heads at the door, next to my shoes. #Progress
11. My GSP is also a mouser. #LoudingCrunchingNoises
12. Beekeeping advice that advises to always talk to your bees when performing hive inspections must be an inside joke to summon the most vicious nether-spawn from the darkest depths of the multiverse, because that’s exactly what happened. #SorryMary 
13. Apparently I’m not the only one who wakes up before the alarm goes off because my mental clock believes the amount of sleep I’m getting is suspicious. #StupidBrain
14. According to a newlywed I work with, never ask your wife, “Who lit the fuse on your tampon?”. #SurprisedHesalive #DidntAskForAdvice
15. If you comment that the daily agenda written on the board in your daughter’s classroom looks a lot like a list of bible study verses and that your favorite scripture is either “Lunch 11:35-12:10 or Recess 2:15-2:35”, you don’t have to help setting up her classroom anymore. #WorkSmarter
16. There is a fine line in the amount of eye contact to give a flight attendant to make sure they know you’re awake and would like the teeny-tiny bag of snacks vs. being the creepy stalker that needs to be taken off the plane. #OrSoTSASays
17. I have no idea what the ancient equivalent is to watching someone that makes three times as much as you struggle to save a document to a PDF and then give you computer advice, but I’d really like to know for perspective. #HowIsThisRealityNow
18. Waiting for the terrified reaction in a person’s face is not as timely an indicator as you’d expect to catch that fact that you misheard, “cycle path” as “pschopath” . #ImAPsychopath
19. According to a co-worker, in every relationship there is a person that stacks dishes in the dishwasher like a Scandinavian Architect and one who stacks like a squirrel on meth. #WeHaveTwoArchitectsThatOccassionalyAgree