What I Learned This Week - 9/12/25

1.  I can't imagine how terrifying the world would be right now if social media existed in the peak time of Freddy Mercury, Hunter S Thompson, Madonna, and the like. #Doooood
2. Some people tell me I'm the smartest man they know and I have to remind them that I always have to touch a cactus to see if it is pokey - every single time I see one…Every.Time. #AlwaysSayOw #NotSmart
3. I like the analogy that I receive compliments the same way a vending machine receives an old, torn, wrinkly dollar. #StressfulForAll
4. The more cat owners I meet the more I find truth in the fact that female cats are named after ancient goddesses and male cats are named after things at a fast food restaurant. #BendyStraw
5. The new, single-guy trend of throwing random hair ties into newly married guys' vehicles is evil and hilarious. #LessEffectiveWithDaughters
6. I was today-years-old when I learned of the existence of a saltwater clam (ctenoides ales) that uses bioluminescence, to attract food and ward off predators, and is aptly nicknamed the, “disco clam”. #SoManyJokes
7. Coworkers that have never had wasabi, should not ask me how much wasabi to use because it’s unnatural. #TheyCanNowSmellTheFuture 
8. I’m surprised that I’m not in the minority that believes doing all important/major things on the phone is crazy (booking flights, ordering technology, etc) and they should be performed on a desktop computer or laptop. #ScreenSizeEqualsSecurity
9. According to a coworker, the best advice I ever gave him was, “don’t ever tell a single person you have the day off unless you want to be with them”. #truth
10. I don’t know if, “losing my gaming skills” is something to be happy or sad about. #AskingForAFriend
11. My cooking feeds are now largely populated with ASMR cooking videos and I have no idea what I searched for to make this a priority. #ListenToTheSizzle #SoCreepy
12. There is one hairstyle that is “popular” in every nation, regardless of cultural influences and it is called, “being bald”. #maybe
13. It’s a sad state of affairs when no one gets my Tanya Harding or Jeff Gillooly references. #RightInTheGillooly
14. There’s a fine line between Skyrim jokes and Nancy Kerrigan jokes. #TookOneToTheKnee
15. A modern day viking taught me that camels produce more water from the fat that’s stored in their humps than the physical volume of the actual hump. #ScienceIt
16. My top ten callers to my cell phone this week are all named “Scam Likely” and call me multiple times daily. #ThoughtYouMadeTheListDidntYou
17. I will never tire of misheard song lyrics or alternate lyrics to songs people make up. #ChickenMan
18. The extinct fish, Sacabambaspis, is the origin story of most childhood illustrations and fish memes. #Maybe
19. I have never read, “former gifted student” on a single resume.#fact
20. Google is silent in confirming that Hercules' act of kidnapping Cerebus was the first triple-dog-dare. #ActuallyComesFromAMovieQuote
21. If Pharmacists aren’t evil then I can’t explain why they always put the diarrhea medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy. #ArmyOfEvil