What I Learned This Week - 10/31/25

1.  A woman at the store referred to Slim Jims as jerky pencils and this causes me more pause than it probably should.#CanIWriteWithASlimJim
2. My friend's favorite part of fall is when the mosquitos go back to hell. #MeToo
3. Some people’s entire personalities stem from the fact that they believed the more books they read, the more free pizza they would get. #Understandable
4. Men will never understand why when women show up to a party wearing the same outfit as another woman, you’re not immediately best friends and don’t bother explaining it to us. #Seriously
5. I spend too much time revisiting what happened, that the two “O”s in the word “COOPERATE” are pronounced individually and don’t work together more than I should. #EnglishIsDumb
6. Calling out staff members in a meeting that they get along like the two “O”s in “cooperate” will only lead to more meetings. #Maybe
7. I believe a lot of adult "blasé" nature stems from the fact at a young age we all bought into the concept that three bears made porridge and the only problem with the porridge was temperature. #NeverTaste
8. A coworker refers to cupcake liners as “panties” and will insist on telling you this as he removes the liner from the cupcake with his teeth. #OhTheHorror
9. Fun fact, you can eat spaghetti with a straw. #DontAskWhy
10. When the grocery store clerk asks if you found everything ok and you reply, “yeah, surprisingly inner peace is on aisle 18”, I will pee my pants when the clerk responds without missing a beat, “well, ice cream has that effect on people”. #Genius
11. Apparently it’s no longer proper to use the word “mansplaining” and better to use the new medical term, “correctile dysfunction”. #maybe
12. I was indifferent about lollipops for 56 years until a coworker handed one to a visiting child with the description, “want to flavor your spit, drink it and then chew gum off a stick?”. #NowAntiLolli
13. I’m not the only one that dreads watching my favorite shirt slowly become my “house shirt”. #OhSoMany
14. My current test for determining which generation they are from is “why would you put tape on one corner of a cassette tape?”. #GenXThings
15. I find it funnier than I should that Erwin Schrödinger had an open casket funeral to avoid another thought experiment. #TheCatIsDeadAlive
16. It’s a portrait of society that Halloween has developed into two major costume choices: (A) sexy things that should never be sexy and (4) horrific things that should never see the light of day. #BringBackBoxCostumes
17. “Spam Cookies” are a thing. #WaWhat #PatriotKenny
18. I’m not allowed to refer to my daughters that knit and crochet as being “fiber-punk”. #ButIDo