What I Learned This Week - 1/11/13

1.  There is a big buzz about a couple of parents that took a video of their 7-month old riding a Roomba. I can't believe that idea never crossed my mind when my daughters were 7-months old. My internal committee member Jase states, "Instant robotic amusement park."
2. My kids science jokes always make me laugh - like this one, "You can't trust an atom because they make up everything"...or "Join the resistance! OOOOHHMMMM!"
3. The gentlemen who have developed the "Discolor Tyre" concept of adding a colored portion of rubber to your vehicle tires to show wear - are genius. Yet another, "why didn't I think of that" moment.
4. Hey, you can't quote enough Duck Dynasty Jack! First it's pretty tires, then it's pretty guns...next thing you know, you're shavin' your beard and wearin' capri pants. This snowcone is giving me a brain sneeze. There are two kinds of people in this world... the educated and the unducated. A beaver is about like the ninjas, the suckers only work at night and they are hard to find. Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of em. One time, in Vietnam, I saw a grizzly bear ridin' a scooter. He gone, Jack.
5. Parenting is a constant struggle between making your kids life better and ruining your own.
6. Nothing makes a dad happier than seeing his daughter with a smile on her face and her boyfriend with fear in his eyes.
7. My kids have to eat popcorn when playing a board/card/dice game. Even if they just had dinner are were "full". This drives me insane.
8. There is no time duration shorter than that moment when you go to shake a friend's hand and they go in for a hug - or vice versa....and there is no recovery.
9. I shout, "Victory!" inside when someone replies, "hahahahaha!!" instead of "haha" or "lol" to an e-mail or message.
10. I get a really big smile when someone "likes" one of my posts or vague comments because they know the story behind it.
11. You know your life is hectic when you actually get excited about cancelled plans.
12. Regardless of how much I trust someone, I am OCD enough that if I ask that person if someone if in their office and they state, "no", I still have to look.
13. An engineer is petitioning the White House to study the possibility of building a real-life starship Enterprise - for the record, I'm not that engineer.
14. I have a very difficult time liking people who can't just sing the national anthem and must add their own "artistic flare".
15. The only purpose of the tag in underwear is not for washing instructions, it is so you can identify what part is the front when dressing in the dark.
16. According to scientists, nearly 80% of chronic degenerative diseases originate in the mouth. Gum disease, TMJ, cavities, bad breath, digestive distress, etc are early signs of biochemical imbalances in the body.
17. If you have chapped lips, you probably shouldn't eat nuclear hot wings...especially 12.
18. NASA is selling a good portion of the retired Space Shuttle Program. I knew I should have waited before I purchased new running shoes.
19. The washing instruction tag on one of my t-shirts reads, "This shirt was tested on animals. It didn't fit."
20. The Mars Curiosity cleaned away a portion of Mars' surface this week to discover, beneath the red iron-oxide dust, the planet is actually white. Let the racist jokes commence.
21. The Affordable Care Act ("Obamacare") has specific wording that prohibits doctors from questioning patients about firearms - an interesting twist to the new movement that gun control is a matter of public health.
22. The National Father's Day Committee (really there's a committee?) named Bill Clinton, Father of the Year this week for his "profound generosity, leadership and tireless dedication to both his public office and many philanthropic organizations". So according to this I'm a bad dad. I'm actually trying to get away from the office and organizations and trying to parent.