What I Learned This Week - 3/1/13

1.  A side stitch (that pain in your side when running/exercising) has a technical name: ETAP or Exercise-related Transient Abdominal Pain. It is typically caused by the weight of your liver on your diaphragm, weak abdominal muscles and/or improper breathing.  There is actually a simple cure.
2. I will never get used to people my age and/or older calling me “sir”.
3. There are actually measurable health benefits of having a mustache and/or beard. The jury is still out on ear hair.
4. One of my small personal victories is pulling into a parking spot at work or home just as the song I'm listening to ends.  “Ta-Da! I’m here!”
5. No matter how funny you think it is, when your doctor is checking your testicles for cancerous lumps - NEVER run your fingers through his hair.
6. DC Comics is slated to kill off Batman’s apprentice, Robin, in issue No. 8 of Batman Incorporated. I thought they already did that back in 1988. Oh….Apparently, they did. Wait. What?
7. I had no idea they changed the storyline of Robin – he is/was no longer Dick Grayson, and is/was now Bruce Wayne’s son. There have been several other Robins and at one point, Robin was actually a girl – Carrie Kelly. I actually don’t care and sadly I will never get the time it took to read that article back.
8. It baffles me how most Coloradans (not imports mind you) have no idea how to drive in snow. As frustrating as that fact is - during my commute, it can be extremely entertaining.
9. There are two words one can utter/type to make people stop questioning you about almost anything. Those two words are, “explosive diarrhea”.  I’m told “anal leakage” works just as well.
10. Nothing makes a white-knuckled, icy drive anxiety-filled more than your wife leaning over mid- drive and quietly stating, “Oh, I forgot to tell you something about how the truck has been acting”.
11. All home loan applications should come with a coupon for a free wrist massage.
12. It appears one must now have a major in drama in order to be a local weather person.
13. It is more rewarding than it should be to watch my 16 ½ year old dog catch snowballs mid-air. I can’t believe she can “jump”.
14. Whenever I see a male reporter interview an attractive woman, I try to catch him stare/glance at her breasts.  I wish I would have thought of making this into a drinking game in college.
15. I’m marking my calendar for 10/19/14, the day scientists believe a comet (C/2013 A1) “may” impact on Mars.  Astronomy is so precise. Any luck and the Curiosity Rover will get video – albeit very short video.
16. Whenever I’m in a meeting and someone tries to explain something using the phrase, “let’s just say…”; I have to then repeat aloud everything they say from that point on. It’s funny how few people understand what is really happening.
17. Whenever I hear "EA Sports", I always have to add, "it's in the game".
18. I have magical ability of walking into a room and finding the item within a minute that one of my kids has spent the last two hours looking for.
19. Whenever I feel intimidated by a tough guy, I imagine someone tickling him.
20. Once upon a time there were songs that could wake up my inner stripper.  Now there are songs that make me put more clothes on.
21. If I get a phone call in a supermarket, I will randomly walk down isles and wonder what the heck I'm looking for. 
22. The little sticker (PLU) on fruits and veggies can tell you something about what you’re buying and isn’t just used by stores for pricing. A four digit number means that the produce was grown using traditional methods (pesticides, etc), a 5 digit code starting with 8 means the produce is genetically modified, a  5 digit code starting with 9 means the produce was grown organically and has no genetic modifications in the process.
23. It's a good thing I write these down during the week, because today there wouldn't be one. This bug sucks.