What I Learned This Week - 8/16/13

1.  I try to play rock-paper-scissors with other people in the cars next to me whenever I'm at a red light or in traffic…active word, “try”. Word of advice, never go scissors first try – it looks too much like a gun.
2. Some days my office would be a lot more entertaining if the floors were covered in bubble wrap.
3. There is a word for shopping with your spouse, turning to her and making a joke only to find the person next you is not your wife and is looking at you like you're an axe murderer while your wife is on the other side of the rack watching you and giggling....that word is "me".
4. Whistling is completely lost on today's youth.
5. I ran out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time. I feel like I should get a trophy or a coupon for a free haircut.
6. Several mornings in a row I've seen large flocks of geese flying in their migratory formations. I'm pretty sure it's a sign....but they are heading east.  
7. Aside from cowbells, the next thing that fuels me during a run/bike is a little kid holding a sign that reads, "May the course be with you".
8. The release of school class schedules is the local equivalent of the NFL Draft Day. There is not a family with kids in my community that wasn't talking about them within an hour of their release.
9. When in the right frame of mind, I can entertain a carload of various aged girls (not women mind you) for 45 minutes by just making odd noises.
10. I really dislike flies.
11. If you “accidentally” put an entire box of dryer sheets in the dryer all your towels and sheets will feel like they are made out of kittens.
12. When in a training class and someone states that they are actually very smart but they don’t understand this, odds are they will have more questions covering what was discussed five minutes ago than the rest of the class combined.
13. No matter how foul a mood I or one of my kids are in, if you state, “No one calls me moon pie but Meemaw”, we will smile a little.
14. I think it should be mandatory that all pool lap lanes have the words "Do not breathe under water" written on the bottom.
15. When installing the LinkedIn App for on a new phone, the checkbox for “check current contacts” will send an annoying request to a couple hundred people you’re already connected to. Sorry.
16. The fruit, orange, did not get its name from the color. It’s believed that oranges get their name from the Sanskrit word for fragrant – naranja. In actuality, oranges throughout the world are normally green when ripe.  Oranges are a big lie.
17. According to my oldest she has calluses in her hair....apparently her hair is fairly tough.
18. If you want a man to cook more/some - you just have to utter four words, “Samuri Kitchen Knife Set”.  Okay, at least you’ll have cut-up vegetables and fruits.
19. It takes a truly amazing and dedicated person to donate a part of their body while they are still alive just because a friend NEEDS it.
20. According to my middle child I’m hiding her Hogwarts acceptance letter because I’m jealous. I have to remind her that we don’t have the mail slot in the front door.
21. If you increase weights for your arms and shoulder workouts, don’t expect to be able to cleanly shave your face immediately following the workout.