What I Learned This Week - 8/9/13

1.  No one should have to get up earlier than 4am for more than one day in a row...especially not three. The preferred amount is "never".
2. You can remove an eggshell with vinegar.
3. My wife believes I created the t-shirt that read, “I don't need to flirt... I will seduce you with my awkwardness.”
4. No writer should be allowed to mention “Anthony Weiner” and “private sector jobs” in the same article.
5. Geeks have started hacking old Teddy Ruxpin dolls with old Android phones. The level of creepy far surpasses that of Chucky.
6. You are not morally obligated to tell people that there were only three people in your age group when mentioning you took second place.
7. The women in my life are tremendous athletes.
8. Having kids rise before 4am for several days in a row will result in a group of unhappy people.
9. My favorite nerd-card game turned TWENTY this week.
10. Many of my college friends will be happy to know an item of many slurred pub discussions now exists…..the ramen burger. Yes, way.
11. Discovery channel’s Shark Week turned 26 this week.
12. If you finish a triathlon smiling, carrying a bike chain - because it broke half way through your bike portion and you had to push your bike for 4 miles then actually run several more, and you’re 12, although you are now tops in my book, you’ve lost the right to ever complain about being too tired to complete a chore. 
13. Contractors do not understand the humor when you break into Gollum speak to lighten up a meeting, “…because you don’ts have the permitses precious.”
14. My kids use Skype, e-mail and texting every minute of the day until they are away and have to do it with me, then they don’t know it exists.
15. My dog has no clue what to do when I’m the only one home.
16. I love the cycling tour trackers with their live videos and data, otherwise I’d have no interest in the Tour of Utah.
17. It amazes me that live video and cycling data can be streamed from the back of a motorcycle to a helicopter to an airplane to a satellite to various broadcast outlets that then sent it to my phone where I can watch in awe as a cyclist suffers on a hill climb or a final sprint putting out 1800 watts. I don’t know which of those feats is more remarkable.
18. The  “,” key on my keyboard at work occasionally sticks and I will get many “,,,,,,,,,”. I always type something immediately after it.  Sometimes I catch it, sometimes I don’t, sometimes I break into song “,,,,, chameleon”.
19. Bacon flavored mints……not so much.
20. When I put on my Captain America cycling jersey I feel as if I'm unbeatable....then I hit the first hill and reality sets in. Apparently, I need some gamma ray exposure.