What I Learned This Week - 9/13/13

1.  Wilford Brimley has a new album out. I have no idea why that makes me happy. I will not buy it. Maybe.
2. Researchers from the University of Utah have completely debunked the theory that logical, analytical people are left-brain dominant, while creative, artistic types are right-brain dominant. They have confirmed that individuals use both parts of the brain equally…..some use more parts than others.
3. Bike trainers seem so innocent and painless when there isn’t a bike attached to them. I know better. Be prepared, trainer season is coming.
4. According to my oldest daughter, chocolate comes from the seed of a tree/plant and therefore can be considered a salad.
5. I actually have a child that despises chocolate.
6. I hate it when I spend an entire commute planning a conversation in my head and my wife doesn’t follow the script.
7. I don’t understand how YouTube doesn’t understand that I will always press “Skip this ad". Always.
8. When driving across country, my stomach does not know the difference between being hungry and being bored.
9. In my next running event I’m going to wear a t-shirt that reads, “Slow runners are what make fast runners look good.  You’re welcome.”
10. It is seemingly more popular to schedule meetings in the 11:30 am to 1:00 pm timeframe. Every time I see a meeting invitation during this time my internal response is, “What do all you people have against lunch?”
11. I’m not allowed to pet the TSA security dogs even when they do a routine security sweep of my office and find the dog treats in my office drawer that I keep just for them. 
12. If I could invent an affordable kid proof laptop, I'd be a skillionaire. We're now on our 5th laptop in less than a year.
13. I really like it when my wife or kids make an honest attempt to watch and/or understand football.  It's not important to me, but it's a lot of fun to share my enjoyment.
14. A chilly Arctic summer has left nearly a million more square miles of ocean covered with ice than at the same time last year – a record increase of 60 percent. Get ready for all of the global cooling conspiracies.
15. Costco makes 90% of its profit solely on membership fees. Yes, only 10% of profit is made on actual product sales.
16. A tornado hotdog is a hot dog on wrapped with a spiral cut potato that is deep fried, all on a stick.  
17. The false summit on the Manitou Springs Incline has to be one of the cruelest things I’ve ever experienced.
18. On average, a pro cyclist rides about 25,000 mi in a year – I average less than that, by a factor of 10.....at least.
19. Hearing my own voice on recording makes me want to apologize to every single person I’ve ever spoken to. How do I not make your ears bleed?
20. I had a better showing in my first triathlon than biggest loser trainer Jillian Michaels...by over a half hour (course adjusted).  I'm still slow.
21. Some days it appears the only progress that is made is on my forehead.
22. More than 200,000 people have signed up that one-way mission to colonize Mars. No, I'm not one of them.
23. The rock band Kiss, which owns an Arena League Football team, has offered former NFL quarterback, Tim Tebow, an unprecedented amount of money to play for them. They may be on to something, I would pay to see Timmy in Kiss make-up play ball.
24. Today is Friday the 13th, ironically studies have reported it is the safest day of the year.