What I Learned This Week - 9/6/13

1.  I will never understand how my dog can spot a bird 800 yards away but I have to point out ten times a small piece of food I dropped under her legs.
2. My definition of good parenting – When a son forgets underwear on a weekend trip, go to Target and buy floral patterned girl panties (and boy underwear that is hidden discretely) to enforce the learning experience.
3. I now understand why the great creator made dominant people -  without them when friendly, intelligent people gather in large groups no decision can be finalized without one.
4. KFC now sells deep fried soup. Seems they have broken physics.
5. Nebraska is home of Arbor Day. I had no idea you had to plant corn on Arbor Day.
6. My nose hair and ear hair have surprisingly similar textures and colors. I have no idea what that means.
7. Everyone has their own definitive head bob to the song “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats
8. In retrospect, I don't believe I have ever seen corn in the wild. 
9. You can wake my youngest from a deep slumber with a single Cheese-It placed inches from her nose.
10. Parents are held to higher standards than their children's peers.
11. Some days should start with a good Polka.
12. Stevie Ray Vaughan was the main guitarist on David Bowie’s 80’s album, “Modern Love”. When listening to “China Girl” it is now very obvious to me.
13. I have no idea how I missed the movie, “Fanboys”. It is now on my favorites list for just for giving me the phrase, “take that you Kirk-loving Spock-sucker!”.
14. You can’t hold a straight face through a Space-themed movie short with actors that are hammered. I give you “Star Drunk”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPrtQ9AdoM0
15. My oldest is at that age when I can watch certain movies with her, but feel VERY uncomfortable when make-out scenes appear. I don’t know if I’m more scared of the questions or lack of questions during these scenes.
16. My youngest has a very twisted concept of mortality. According to her, sleeping is practice for death, but death is forever. I may never sleep again.
17. No matter how amazing you are at something, there will always be an 8 year old somewhere who is better.
18. My children do not understand the statement: When I was a kid, my social network was called "outside".
19. I will never understand the physics behind British people losing their accents when they sing.
20. Sometimes it takes a N.E.D. report to put things into perspective.