What I Learned This Week - 10/9/15

1.  69 days until "Star Wars - the Force Awakens" (aka: Episode VII) is in theaters.
2. I retitled my “to-do” lists as “quest log” and I give myself experience points whenever I complete task. As of this writing I’m a Level 46 husband.
3. You know something bad is about to happen when a doctor prefaces an opening statement with “Dude.”
4. “Pumpkin Spice” contains no pumpkin.
5. Technically, pumpkins are berries. #LookItUp.
6. There is a world record category for “dog catching the most balls with its paws” – 14 in 60 seconds. I’m pretty sure my lab can hold that many in her mouth.
7. Chef Boyardee’s real name was “Hector” Ettore Boiardi.
8. The majority of zippers have “YKK” on them. The letters stand for Yoshida Kōgyō Kabushikigaisha, a name that translates to "Yoshida Manufacturing Shareholding Company" which manufactures nearly half the zippers in the world.
9. The M&M’s factory in New Jersey makes 4 million M&Ms a minute.
10. I predict the majority of Jack-o-laterns this year will be painted or carved to look like the new Star Wars droid BB-8. I’m okay with that.
11. I’m pretty certain I’m the only one who doesn’t understand USA 1,000 year weather events, when weather data has only been officially accumulated since 1914. Thomas Jefferson did make notes on Philadelphia weather as early as 1772. #ShowMeTheData
12. Asking one to homecoming by handing them a stuffed animal goat and asking, “Will you goat to homecoming with me?” will have be giggling for years.
13. Teenage boys do not understand that teenage girls will be way more excited about receiving a super-soft-fuzzy-huggable goat than the proposal.
14. Prom may be about the dress, but Homecoming is also about the dress….and the friend’s Homecoming is also about a different dress….as apparently so is “Tuesday”.
15. It’s important that all dresses purchased over a school year never meet each other and can been worn for a cumulative total of three hours. Two hours if glitter is involved.
16. The center of a donut is “fat free”.
17. My middle daughter believes “puppy breath” should be an air fresher scent.
18. “RAP” is actually an acronym that stands for “Rhythm and Poetry”. 
19. Saturn’s moon, “Mimas” looks suspiciously like the Death Star.
20. When a daughter states, “Don’t touch my hair” it is an open invitation to perform the “Noogie Maneuver”.
21. According to some biblical scholars, the world was supposed to end on Wednesday. I hope we actually made it and are not currently living in the Matrix.
22. It’s not a bad thing to lose your halo. #SpeedyRecoveryAnnLantz.
23. An aero bottle full of beer seems like it would be a good idea, but it’s not. 
24. My favorite technology to come out of all the bike tech articles on the Ironman World Championships is “magnetic aero shrouds”. #SmartEngineering #NoStippedBolts
25. I don’t care how well I know you, if your nickname is “Moose” I will be your biggest cheerleader. #GoAmyMosser #Cowbells
26. When my wife states to one of my children, “you could not be ruder”, letting go a large fart is not an acceptable response. #WasntMe
27. If you haven’t had to Google at least one thing in my “weekly” (or “weakly”) list to understand a joke, I’m not doing my job.
28. I never made a list for RAAM. #ItsComing.
29. My Lab is the best puppy sitter in the world.