What I Learned This Week - 2/16/18

1.  671 days until Star Wars Episode IX is in theaters.
2. According to Venice law, I could never be a gondolier because I wasn’t born in Venice. #BucketListFail
3. Thanks to Elon Musk, there is now a greater-than-zero chance of getting into a car accident in space and not just on the moon. #fact
4. Much to my coworkers dismay, I am far too amused by the jumpy nature of some individuals responding to my enthusiastic greetings of “WHATCHA DOIN’?” #PrettySureOnePeed
5. I don’t know why I have to correct people that the first car in space was actually the 1969 NASA Lunar Roving Vehicle (LRV) that was not only the first car into space, it landed it on the moon, and was driven. #LikeABoss #NoBurnOuts
6. It is quite possible that a million years from now, the last existing book in the English language will be that copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that's in the glove box of the space car. #likely
7. The over-under for Elon Musk’s car in space to make an appearance in motion picture is 14 months. #TakeTheUnder #IBetTheSimpsonsDoItFirst
8. According to a woman at the ice rink, figure skating is just walking in cursive. #maybe
9. Although semi-accurate, one should not refer to a candle as a “fire pet”. 
10. There is an interwebz theory that contagious diseases are a hard-core version of tag.
11. There is a fine line between a tip and a bribe. #Timing
12. According to a coworker, "you gotta swipe a lot of lefts to find your Mr. Right" is this generations “you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince”. #ew 
13. The interwebz was one a place to watch animated badger videos instead of humanity’s real-time collapse. #MushroomMushroom
14. The Lion King has a much creepier undertone when you realize that Scar is not Lana’s father and Mufasa was the only other male lion in the pride. #againew
15. I receive far too much joy responding to an inquiry on the lifespan of an owl with, “about six-and-a-half-books” and watching the horror on the face of the questioner when they finally get the reference. #PoorHedwig
16. According to my youngest, sign language is the least spoken language in the world. #duh
17. There is a big difference on Facebook between the “Save” and “Publish” buttons and some people get upset when something hasn’t been published by 5:00 am on Friday. #oops