What I Learned This Week - 4/13/18

1.  615 days until Star Wars Episode IX is in theaters.
2. There is a word for the formal process of asking one to prom – “promposal”. 
3. If you change your Netflix ID to “Install Windows Updates”, your family will stop using your account. #fact.
4. In modern vernacular, “hitting rock bottom” is actually a dare of smacking a famous pro wrestler turned movie-star on the butt and seeing how long you will live. #maybe
5. After the giant Facebook breach, I am amazed at the number of people in my feed that continue to take quizzes and dumb improbable water flow “brainteasers” linked to similar data mining accounts.
6. It is entertaining to watch people rant about Mark Zuckerberg on Facebook and point out that their rant just made him more money. #ThatsHowItWorks
7. It’s odd that adult jokes as a child are childish jokes to adults. #StillFunnny
8. I have no idea if cartoons watching cartoons are actually watching live action or cartoons. #confused
9. I’m fairly certain that celery is the only food that has both ranch dressing and peanut butter as acceptable toppings. #maybe
10. I have used the phrase, “over the moon” more this week than in my entire life and I have no idea why or how it entered my brain.
11. “Alt” is the only abbreviated key on a computer keyboard that is pronounced in its abbreviated form. #NeverHeardAnyoneSayAlternateShiftF4
12. Blowing and sucking are antonyms as well as synonyms.
13. You don’t realize how powerful you chew until you accidentally bite your tongue. #OMGImTheHulk
14. According to a kid at the airport, “if you combine Big Sean and Lil Wayne, they make Medium Shane” and that made me laugh harder than it should have.
15. If someone posts a joke about being robotic by citing binary, don’t be surprised when I translate it and correct it. #01001001001000000110000101101101001000000110011001110101011011100110111001111001
16. Apparently, it’s not common knowledge that the only reason this list contains hashtags is because one person stated they would never read a post that contained a hashtag – to which I replied #HowDoYouKnowItHasAHashTagIfYouDidNotReadIt – they unfriended me that day.
17. Pro Tip: LinkedIn is not the professional version of Instagram. #SoManyBadPhotos