What I Learned This Week - 12/14/18

1.  370 days until Star Wars Episode IX is in theaters.
2. When someone hands you an unsolicited mint, do not question why. #JustSayThankYou
3. According to a 25-minute-long YouTube video, 3,000 T-rexs can defeat 20,000 Jedis as long as the Jedis can’t use the force. #StillDontBelieveIt
4. Voyager 1 ventured into interstellar space this week and it now takes its signal, traveling at the speed of light, about 17 hours one way to reach Earth. #AndYouThoughtMyTextResponseWasSlow
5. Old decorative socks make for entertaining instant puppy sweaters. #WashThemFirst
6. Foster dogs playing hide-and-go-seek with my wife are not funny.
7. It’s interesting that the bigger and dumber a dog is, the more I love it - but the exact opposite applies to humans.
8. Without E-bay I would never know one could purchase a taxidermy of a badger turned into a Theremin. #StarTrekThemeBadgersBadgersBadgers
9. According to a Danish photographer, having sex on top of one of the great pyramids is known as the “Nile High Club”. #maybe
10. Without the Interwebz knowledge, it would have never occurred to me that tampons could become deadly projectiles. #TamponGun #NoCabinetIsOffLimits
11. The modern definition of “betrayal” is when your phone shuts off when the battery displays 7%. #maybe
12. The gym would be far more entertaining is muscles made sounds when used. #ListenToDemGainz
13. Thumb wars are the only thing we start on the count of four. #woah
14. You just read the above and declared a thumb war on yourself. #Noice
15. I had no idea that Bassett Hound racing was thing until someone asked me in a serious tone if I raced my Bassett. #JustAsFunnyAsYoudImagine #RoxxyWillRaceIn2019
16. After several painfully long and venomous Interwebz threads, I still don’t have an answer as to why the X-Men’s Professor X could move/control anything with his mind except his legs.
17. I have never understood why in the holiday TV special, “Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer”, the island of misfit toys contains a water gun that shoots jelly, but not the moron that filled a water gun with jelly. #JusticeForJellyGun #ItWasntMeMaybe
18. I am beyond disappointed that the new Disney Mary Poppins movie does not star Yondu. #ImMaryPoppinsYall