What I Learned This Week - 08/08/25

1. Things I own that should not require a login to use but do: a car, a truck, a washing machine, a scale, an air fryer, a meat thermometer, and a watch. #SoonAToothbrush
2. Asking my wife to kiss my boo-boo doesn’t work on a poison ivy rash. #eewwww
3. My go to response when people ask me what I do for a living and I really don’t want to talk is now, “I do my best”. #ConcernedConfusedExpressions
4. Best response heard in a friendly meeting to the comment, “I bet you were dropped as a baby” is, “you’re assuming I was ever held”. #RightInTheFeels
5. The biggest lie 80’s and 90’s sit-coms taught me is that there would be time for friends/family to come over for breakfast before the work commute. #DidTheyStartAtNoon
6. I discovered this week that my staff has a running log of how many times they’ve individually tried to stump me over the past year and a half with a Dad Joke that I had not heard or couldn’t puzzle out and as of yesterday the tally is Lee: 276, Team: 4. #ImAJokeToThem
7. I’m at the point in my life that I don’t check if my texting or voice to texting is spelled correctly because the things autocorrect comes up with are far more hilarious or lead to funnier conversations. #NoIDontHaveTourettes #ManyTimesImAnIdiot
8. ChatGPT defined this ongoing list as “Casual Nihilism in a Cardigan” and I think I found my new slogan. #maybe
9. A coworker received a bonus pop-tart in his morning bag of pop-tarts and was visibly sad because it meant someone else only received one. #RightInTheFeels
10. I’m at the age where I wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep - so I'm now doing the math to find the length of time until I’m so tired that I’m permanently asleep. #SleepThoughts
11. I firmly believe in the theory of multiple dimensions - because it's the only logical explanation for where twist ties disappear after I open a loaf of bread. #WhereElseWouldTheyGo
12. If dogs were to sweat like humans, I’m pretty sure they would not have been domesticated. #UnlessTheySweatedBooze
13. If I was being true to myself, I should rename my photo album of “Before” to “Selfies”. #KeepingHopeAlive
14. In 2009, GameStop made a training video to teach male employees how to talk to women and you can even watch all the cringe on YouTube. #UpSell
15. Bars that have karaoke nights, never have Disney tunes on their playlist and I believe they are alienating more than half the bar from hilariousness. #maybe
16.  AI inbreeding is occurring and I don't know why it's so shocking considering the race that developed AI. #MostlyAIArt 
17. "Scorigami" is a scoring combination that has never happened before in a sport or league's history, and I don't know why this is important. #BettingOdds
18. The sign of a good vacation is not knowing what day it is and apparently this is also the same concept as "retirement". #SoImTold
19. The child of a mermaid and a centaur has an equal likely chance of being either a normal human or a sea horse. #Genetics
20. According to a consultant, the "H" in "Engineering" stands for "Happiness". #YesItDoes
21. After much deliberation with a coworker and consultation with my wildlife biologist daughter, I confess that I use a hamster to perform daily activities because a mouse would have a tail. #maybe