What I Learned This Week - 12/5/25

1. The best safe word one can use is “Meatloaf”, because it essentially means, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do THAT”. #Maybe
2. You know you’ve put off buying groceries long enough after the post-Thanksgiving leftover mass when you decide to make french toast out of hot dog buns. #Works
3. As time goes on, I think I’m starting to aspire to be that grandparent from fairytales that my grandkids won’t be able to differentiate from a wolf in a nightgown.#Ewww
4. I don’t know why the word “coward” doesn’t mean, “moving in the direction of the cow” and I’m not sure how we get this changed. #English
5. One of the few things that brings me joy in this holiday season is knowing there is a possibility an alternate universe exists where Mariah Carey is shopping and loathes hearing me sing holiday tunes everywhere she goes. #Vengeance
6. Tragically, a coworker’s Tesla was stolen over the holiday and I couldn’t keep a straight face when one of his staff asked if he had to call it his Edison now. #Brilliant
7. I'm pretty sure I missed a memo that allows adults to wear pajamas shopping this time of year. #NightgownsReally
8. The “I-I-I-I” sample from the 1990’s Dee-Lite song, “Groove is in the heart” is actually Zsa Zsa Gabor singing the theme from the 1966 TV show, “Green Acres”. #WhoKnew
9. When a new parent tells you they named their newborn daughter after their grandmother, you are not supposed to say aloud, “you named her Grandma?”. #OnlyThinkIt
10. I don’t know why, after over a hundred years of manufacturing and design upgrades, automotive engineers haven’t figured out a way to seal the gap between the seat and center console so you don’t have to spend an hour trying to fish out your dropped phone or keys. #EasyRubberSeal
11. Some days I relate closely to a coworker's end of day statement, “my social battery is a refurbished rechargeable AA from the Dollar Store that may be on its last charge”. #HesOkay
12. Best t-shirt observed in the airport this week that I don’t relate to at all read, “My stomach is FLAT……..the L is silent”. #RightInTheFeels
13. If you rename your “To-Do” list to “Side Quests” you actually accomplish a lot more that’s not on the list. #Maybe
14. I wish Google maps had a feature that would hide places you haven’t explored yet much akin to video game maps. #HaventBeenThere
15. I read too long of an internet thread about someone’s desire for capital numbers so that they could yell at someone in math and after an hour I would like to yell in math. #DamnYouPythagarus