What I Learned This Week - 7/8/16

1.  524 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII is in theaters. 
2. My kids don’t appreciate the humor in putting toe tags on their feet while they sleep and then acting very surprised and thankful when they arrive in the kitchen for breakfast. #GreatestDadEver
3. The Oxford Dictionary has added the acronyms, “ROFL”, “SMH” and “TL;DR” and the words “Scooby Snacks”, “doof”, “Dudette”, and “Listicle” among many others. #NoROFLMAO 
4. This weekly post is a “listicle”.
5. “Roomba-Beer-Pong” is a thing. 
6. On the days leading up to the Fourth of July, I’m fairly certain all U.S. citizens play the game, “Fireworks or gunshots?”
7. When the local fire department rolls vehicles by my house on the Fourth of July, my phone become the tattle-tale of “who lit that on fire”.
8. You never want to hear the words, “hey, wait – that’s next to my house” from a friend when listening to phone-fire-department-scanner-radio. #AllWasSafe
9. A day on the planet Venus is longer than a year on Venus. #LetThatSinkIn #SpinsTheWrongWay
10. There is a 42% decrease in air quality throughout the U.S. on 4th July as a result of firework displays. #SmellsLikeFreedom
11. Texas is the only state in the U.S. where citizens also have to pledge allegiance to the state flag.
12. Thanks to the 26% increase in sales of adult coloring books over the past year, there is a global pencil shortage. #NoReally
13. While shopping with my wife and I arrange all the detergents sideways on the store shelf and exclaim, “look, the Tides have turned”…..she will just glare at me and pretend she didn’t marry me.
14. Teenagers that state, “unsubscribe” when I give them a heated lecture are not funny at that particular moment.
15. You can get out of important meetings by showing up late and driving a motor-scooter around the conference room table. #Maybe
16. Qatar is the only country that begins with a “Q” and Iraq is the only country that ends with one. #Quirky
17. Japanese scientists won the IG Nobel Prize for creating a fire alarm, which squirts a cloud of wasabi, for members of deaf community. #OhMyEyes #StillGotBurned
18. Singer/Songwriter Billy Joel received his high school diploma at age 43.
19. When the Sears catalogue began printing on glossy paper instead of "regular" paper in the early 1930’s, the company received complaints because people found it harder to use as toilet paper. 
20. The first documented use of toilet paper was in China in the 6th century. #NameWasSmudged
21. Wikipedia has an entire section on “Anal Cleansing” and is as horrifying as you would might imagine. #StillReadIt