What I Learned This Week - 9/30/16

1.  440 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII is in theaters. 
2. If you walk into a room full of teenagers and state, ”Woah, it smells like teen spirit in here” you will just get a lot of blank stares.
3. There should be a brand of gin named, “Qui Gon”. #WhyNot
4. “What doesn’t kill you…” actually gives you many unhealthy coping mechanisms and a very dark sense of humor. #MaybeItsJustme
5. There is a “zip bomb” of better yet, “The Zip of Death” that is a malicious file typically named “42.zip” and is 42k compressed and 4.5 pentabytes uncompressed. 
6. Nowhere in the “Humpty Dumpty” nursery rhyme does it state he is an egg. #Wizardry
7. Most canned pumpkin doesn’t contain any pumpkin but contains several varieties of winter squash. #EatFresh
8. Matthew McConaughey always looks like he just made eye contact with a kid slowly pumping a super soaker.
9. Best response in an interview this week to the standard friendliness, “Can I get you anything?”, “Yes sir, a job would be nice”. 
10. People should know by now that they don’t have to apologize for their dog running up to me, because that’s exactly what I wanted.
11. People who don’t believe one can be both happy and sad at the same time have never eaten an entire bag of cookies by themselves in one sitting.
12. I’m not sure I like movies or just need something to look at when I eat popcorn.
13. You are only truly unique if your gamertag is not taken on the first try.
14. According to a coworker, “creampie isn’t a pastry and the interwebz is a very disgusting place”. #SafeSearchON
15. I’m in the minority of people that believe the usage of timekeeping with months is outdated and should be done away with – just number the days. #EasyBookKeeping 
16. Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans. #Sorry
17. I am confident my sole purpose on this planet is to stick my finger in my dog’s mouth just to ruin her yawns.
18. No matter how many times my dog yawns in front of me, she is always surprised by the finger finale. Always. #WhatThe
19. The new Ghostbuster’s movie failed miserably because a movie about women caring about “invisible problems that no one else believes in” is too close to reality.
20. I met a man named “Richard Pecker” and his opening words to me were, “Yes, my name is redundant”. #WasTotallyGoingThere