What I Learned This Week - 10/14/16

1.  426 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII is in theaters. 
2. When you put your ear up to a stranger’s leg you can hear them say, “What the hell are you doing?”
3. There is an umbrella that catches rain and distributes it to a squirt gun in the umbrella handle.
4. When a card is routed throughout the office to offer condolences for the loss of a Coworker’s family member, you should not sign the card, “Happy Birthday!”
5. My last words will not be a great monologue or poetic stanzas of love and affection; they will more than likely be “whoops”. #Probably
6. It doesn’t matter who you are, if you’ve had three teeny-tiny adult spirits and Journey is played – you will be a small town girl, living in a lonely world. #EveryTime #DontStopBelieving
7. If two vegans don’t like each other, I’m not sure it is still considered a “beef”. 
8. According to my daughters, I will never understand the struggle of long hair and lip gloss.#TheStruggleIsReal
9. When someone pulls a knife on you, the correct response is not, “Well today just took a sharp turn”. #MultipleStabVictim
10. If you have the time and patience, you can stack candy corn to look just like a corn on the cob. #SortOf
11. I, for one, dislike Roman Numerals. 
12. One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 guacas, which could also be called “Avacado’s number”. #Maths