What I Learned This Week - 10/28/16

1.  412 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII is in theaters. 
2. According to my middle daughter, if she accidentally touches my knee she does NOT “need” something.
3. You can add the phrase, “..and dragons” to pretty much anything to make it epic. #PeanutButterAndDragons
4. According to my middle daughter, I am not allowed to refer to Justin Timberlake as, “Jay Tay”. #YetIStillDo
5. LED gun sights do not make for useful sights on a telescope. #BlindedByTheLight
6. According to my middle daughter, I am not allowed to refer to the teenage street-corner-sign-spinning marketers as “teens that failed sign language”. #CanHappenToYou
7. According to a coworker, the argument of “hoes before bros” and vice-versa is invalid because it violates the conservation of mass and does not reach a balance or “homie-hoe-stasis”. #Science
8. It takes a garage sale find $35 telescope to rekindle my fire for the heavens and take up all my spare time thinking of what I should show the kids next. #ColdNightsAhead
9. If you leave a reflector telescope outside positioned correctly, the alignment of mirrors can cause a large fire. #WasntMe
10. Through donations, a man generated enough money to buy advertisement space on 100 Chicago train cars solely for creating fictitious awareness on the evils of squirrels and place fictitious requests to a woman to take him back. #Vanessa #SquirrelTruth
11. If you refer to a cookie as, “baked chocolate chip cookie dough”, all women in the room will look for something other than a cookie. 
12. The weeks leading up to Halloween are the only time where purchasing a chainsaw, hockey mask, longsword, nylon stockings, spray paint, a shovel, several dozen eggs, 100 pounds of dry ice and a super-size box of industrial garbage bags will generate not a single question from the cashier.
13. My middle daughter, Leah, wishes her middle name was “Dawn” so that her name would sound like a dinosaur. #ParentingFail #LoveTheLeahdon
14. Adam & Eve were the first people ever not to read the Apple Terms & Conditions. #StillNoHeadsetJack
15. Actress, Anne Hathaway is married to actor/producer Adam Shulman; who happens to look like William Shakespeare; who had a wife named Anne Hathaway. #BrainHurts #Immortal
16. Texting me a photo of a killer whale head rising out of the water with the caption, “I came out of the ocean because you need to stop”, while in the middle of a pun battle with my kids will make me pause – and laugh.
17.  The voice inside my head does not sound like me, and I really can’t figure out who it sounds like. #KeepsMeAwakeAtNight