What I Learned This Week - 2/17/17

1.  300 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII – The Last Jedi is in theaters.
2. A Swifter Sweeper collects dust whether one uses it or not. #truth
3. Hats are both the problem and the solution to hat hair. #Catch22
4. I get more time on my microwave by typing in 99 than when I do 100.
5. According to my kids, the actual answer to the question, “why is 6 afraid of 7” is “because 7 is a registered 6 offender”. 
6. People are taken aback that I believe a balanced meal is when I get too much dip on one chip I have to eat a plain chip immediately after to balance out the chip to dip ratio. #maths
7. I have revised my physical fitness goals to “be able to hold every breed of dog as a baby”. #ExceptThoseWithSubCategoryHorse 
8. There is no apparent age limit to exclaim “COW!” when you drive past some cows. #OrHorses #EspeciallyLlamasOrAlpacas
9. It is sad state of society that we have to put "made with real XXX" on our food products.
10. When a spoon is larger than a small leaf of lettuce it just becomes a shovel. #Perspective
11. As a child of the 80’s, I remember when being radical was actually a good thing. #Totally
12. Living with four women has taught me that no one gets disgusted by hair until it's no longer attached to a body. #ItsEverywhere
13. Of all the letters, “H” is the hardest to spell. #aitch #JustRecitedtheAlphabetDidntYou
14. I find it funny that pregnant women drink virgin drinks. #YouAreSoNot
15. One cannot un-see that the popular ad of the cut snack cake “Vanilla Zinger” looks creepily similar to the POTUS.
16. If you want a quick answer to a question on the interwebz, post the wrong answer as fact instead of asking because trolls are more eager to correct others than to simply answer a question. #ProTip
17. According to my kids, of all the things that can be described as "juicy," juice is not one of them. #StillFunny
18. I have progressed to the age from driving being all about going places to now just getting back home safe.
19. There is no way to be chivalrous with a revolving door. #HoldtheDoorOpenNoWait
20. As appropriate as it may be, one should not refer to gravy as “meat frosting”. #Yummy
21. According to my oldest a clouds favorite clothing is “Thunderwear”. #GoodThingShesPretty
22. Restaurants with drive-thrus that do not serve pedestrians are basically implying a dress code that requires one to wear a car.
23. According to my youngest, if she farted in my wallet I would have gas money. #ShesGoingPlaces