What I Learned This Week - 3/10/17

1.  279 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII – The Last Jedi is in theaters.
2. My 8 year old self believed the need to "stop, drop, and roll" was going to be more common than it actually is. #MakingANewDance
3. When coworkers complain about “crappy” toilet paper, I can’t tell if they mean it is effective or non-effective. #JustCallItJohnWayneTP
4. You can blow your teenagers mind by telling them they are closer to 30 than they are of their birth. #MoreThanHalfWayThere
5. According to my oldest, the WILTW banner photo this week is an alternate lyric to Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer”.  #MustSingTheWoahPartFirst #SoIsLizardOnAChair #AndAppleAndAPear 
6. It is best not to think about if the photo that will be displayed at your funeral has been taken yet. #MorbidThoughts #HateMySelfies
7. I have never met a person who got salmonella from raw cookie dough. #Conspiracy
8. Sometimes I really wish cars came with a sound to signify, "sorry, my mistake." #MaybeABlinker
9. Several of my coworkers didn’t realize that "Rolling Stones" is a play on "Rock and Roll". #YoungPups
10. Sometimes you need a sound file that is 8 minutes of silence followed by 15 seconds of extremely loud sex noises, just to use on coworkers that believe “they can’t be hacked”. #GloriousWindowsStartup #NotHacking #StillFunny
11. “Dipping-pineapple-pizza-in-milk” is a thing. #AVeryGrossThing
12. In Roman numerals, XL is smaller than L, so I have that going for me. #NotReally
13. According to a coworker, every fart is a gamble, and every one of us has lost at least once. #BadPantsDay
14. “TL;DR” is the modern day version of “Cliff Notes”. #ExecutiveSummary
15. Although rocks and stones are nearly the same, rocking and stoning are very different and cannot be used interchangeably. #StoneOnDude #AlzhemiersIsNigh
16. If you refer to your age in hours, the general response will be, “what?” #437000HrsOld
17. It has been a week without a spin class and I’m really surprised I actually miss being tortured by crazy insane fit people that don’t sweat. #ImStillSweating
18. When an instructor tells me I can do anything for 30 seconds, I immediately make an internal list of all the things I can’t do for 30 seconds. #LiveOnTheSun #CountToABillion #DrinkLava #BenchPressA747 #ThisShouldBeAMeme #NewFridayList
19. It intrigues me that milk chocolate does not taste anything like chocolate milk. #DifferentProportions
20. A new sign of the apocalypse is when Windows adds a “Search this on Google” button on error messages. #ITGuysBestFriend 
21. If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why don’t they just take a pencil and paper and write exactly why their unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge. #CommunicationIsKey
22. Someone somewhere is unknowingly the patient zero of the interwebz cat meme phenomena. #StartedItAll
23. I don’t understand why there are literally thousands of types of apples available in stores, yet I can purchase only one type of apple juice that is not of any particular apple. #WhatIsItReally
24. According to my youngest a loud fart that doesn’t stink is just a disappointment. #ProudDad