What I Learned This Week - 3/31/17

1.  258 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII – The Last Jedi is in theaters.
2. I will never be so old that I stop doing the Jedi hand wave as I walk through automatic doors. 
3. According to a coworker, if the word cliché didn’t exist, cliché things could be anything – like a Steve. #ThatsSoSteve
4. Women’s clothing stores would make a lot more money if they sold beer to men waiting for their women to try things on. #JustBringTheSixPack
5. I don’t know why coffee shops don’t have an express lane for people ordering a plain black coffee. #LetMeSwipeMyCardOnTheCoffeeMaker 
6. When someone tells me, “it can’t get any worse” I resort to telling the story of one of my college professors nicknamed “worse-case-scenario” and then proceed to tell them how much worse it can realistically can get. #Experience #NotAGoodFriend OohLookLava #AlwaysEndsWithAFatality
7. If twins are born on the minutes leading up to and following the beginning of daylight savings time, the younger twin will be the older on paper and both will have the older sibling argument until they die. #DownWithDaylightSavings
8. If you text someone a photo of your hand trying to write with a raw hot dog, immediately followed by, “Sorry, wrong person”, you will always get a text back. #WhatKindOfConversationsDoYouHave
9. I can forgive just about any driving maneuver if the driver waves in a polite manner. #NoBirds
10. The Amazon Echo/Google Home should have a function where it steps in and announces the winner of household arguments. #MomWasRight
11. There is now an entire generation of people who will only know Emma Watson as Belle, not Hermione.
12. I don’t know why a four hour nap is considered more of a waste of time than four hours of sleep. #SameThing #Perspective
13. There is a grey area in the proper spelling of gray.
14. I find it amusing that someone is willing to pay a lot of money to obtain my internet history, only to be very disappointed. #SpotifyGoogleEbayFbSpotifyGoogleNetflixSpotifyGoogleRedditSpotifyGoogle
15. I don’t understand how Ireland missed the boat on Vodka (until recently) when it is well known for alcohol and potatoes. #NotComplainingAboutGuinness #WhiskeyAndBeerWasEnough