What I Learned This Week - 4/21/17

1.  207 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII – The Last Jedi is in theaters.
2. The childhood punishments of going to bed early, not leaving the house, not going to a party, etc. are actually training for adult goals. #truth
3. If you’re not allowed to use Google as your search engine stating, “just Bing it” sounds so incredibly wrong. #WhyDidMySearchTurnUpFriendsTrivia
4. People who use the phrase "it's all downhill from here" to say that things will get worse have clearly never gone cycling. #Wheeeeee
5. "A nut for a jar of tuna" is the same backwards #IHaveNoIdeadWhatToDoWithThis
6. I’m not a biologist because I could never get over the fact that multiplication and division of cells are the same thing. #maths
7.  When I was young, I was jealous of older men dating hot 21 year old women, now as an older man I wonder what's wrong with them. #DudeReally
8. I have no idea why cereal isn’t distributed in zip-lock bags or a carton similar to half gallon milk containers. #EasyToPour 
9. Last will and testaments need to have an “account and password” section as well as an automatic requirement for deletion of social media accounts. #NoReallyItsNotTheirBirthday
10. I don’t understand why planned communities don’t have police stations right next to banks.
11. “Chainsaw-powered-tricycle” is a thing. #ReallyCarvesUpTheStreet
12. “Video-game-scholarships” are another thing. #NoNotCreatingThem #YesPlayingThem #OneGenerationTooLate
13. According to several studies by the Humane Research Council, 85% of vegetarians and vegans eventually return to omnivores and eat meat. #ResistanceIsFutile
14. Contractions have redefined normal vs. proper, because no normal person would ever scream, “DO NOT YOU DARE!!!” #Fact #SoundsLikeYoda
15. According to my lab, squirrels are just tennis balls thrown by God. #YesISpeakDog #FakeNews
16. The most comfortable position in bed is discovered just before I've realized I forgot to set the alarm or plug in my phone. #WellCamelPoo
17. According to my youngest, if Cinderella was the princess of cheese her name would have been “Mozzarella”. #maybe
18. I believe a spend more time hiding posts on Facebook of likes and comments on other posts than actually reading posts people post. #NotPTSD #DontReallyCareWhatYouLiked #FacebookGiveMeAFilter