What I Learned This Week - 9/29/17

1.  76 days until Star Wars - Episode VIII – The Last Jedi is in theaters.
2. Whenever one of my daughters gets a 100% on a test, my first thought is that the test was easy. #ThenICongratulateThem
3. I have no idea why the two major operating system developers have an overwhelming fear of the number 9. #Windows9 #iOS9
4. Whenever I feed the dogs I ask them if they want “the usual” and their barking and dances always make me glad I asked. #HowAboutACookie
5. The billboard signs for FM Light and Sons that have adorned the Colorado landscape since the dawn of time do not lie about selling cowboy hats for $6.98. #NotAStetson
6. My daughter now completely understands my jonesing to fish. #InHerBlood 
7. There are three phases to fishing – fishing to fish, playing a fish and landing a fish – and according to my daughter the middle one makes the others worthwhile. #TotallyAgree
8. When kids actually catch fish, they are more than willing to help clean the boat. #KindOf
9. My family’s go-to game for killing time is the card game gin. #YouHadMyCard
10. “Adhesive-Lego-Tape” is now a thing that sounds like a lot more pain to continually step on.
11. If you point to the expiration date on an item of food and exclaim, “spoiler alert” your wife will just shake her head. #MyDaughtersWillLaugh
12. “Darkle” is the opposite of “sparkle” and neither are related to “farkle”. #LookItUp
13. If you state, “I’m such a nerd” - odds are you are far from the truth. #YoureLikelyADork
14. If you state, “I’m such a dork” - odds are you are spot on. #dork
15. People that state, “money cannot buy love” have never owned a dog. #truth
16. According to a coworker, there is a life milestone that is marked by the fear that you may expire before your credit cards does. #IHaveANewFear
17. Colorado residents, self-included, have a twisted view of time as is evident how they refer to a local monument as “the NEW Mile High Stadium” even though it is almost 17 years old. #HolyCrapTimeFlies
18. It’s time to re-evaluate your life objectives when you get genuinely excited to see that your pee is clear. #YeahImSoFreakingHydrated
19. According to a coworker, it is not called “bribing your kids”, it is actually, “teaching them valuable negotiation skills”. #LifeLessons
20. “Giant-Tree-Dwelling-Coconut-Eating Rats” are an actual newly discovered thing. #Vika #ExcellentRockBandName
21. Since the apparent majority of NFL football players are “kneeling” on a Sunday, I believe the proper term is “genuflecting” - which should make the sports, religious and news pundits collective mind’s explode arguing the merits of the flag’s representation of a nation under God and the appropriate deity reverable stance. #maybe #MyCountryIsCompletelyInsane #SeriousNotSerious 
22. Researchers have recently discovered that the “tusk” of a Narwhal is actually a well refined sensor that helps regulate functions of the whale’s body rather than being the weapon it resembles.  #IKnowItsATooth
23. If your name is David and you didn’t name your son “Harley”, you lost a golden opportunity to be my hero.