What I Learned This Week - 12/22/17

1. 1 days until Madison, the firstborn returns from AmeriCorps for 10 days.
2. I have no idea why this has been all over my newsfeed this week but apparently, peppermint, ginger and pumpkin are all natural remedies to stinky farts. 
3. “Burger-with-mini-pizzas-as-a-bun” is a thing. #SluttyPizzaBurger
4. With Net-Neutrality gone, the time is almost ripe to flaunt the Blockbuster Video card I refused to throw away. #JealousMuch
5. “Band-Aid-box-collecting” is a thing. #NotStuckOnBandAid
6. There is an entire generation that has no idea computer mice once had balls.
7. I’m fairly good at speaking in front of large audiences with my fly unzipped.
8. There is a difference between “necromancing” and “neck-romancing”. #NoNerdCards
9. “Mercedes” contains three “E”s all pronounced differently.
10. Tide-to-go sticks are very good at removing blood from work attire. #EspeciallyDogBlood
11. No one in my household appreciates the fact I always cut the stick of butter with the wrapper on so that only “Grade A BUTT” is left on the wrapper. #ILaughEveryTime
12. When using puns about corn at the dinner table, my youngest always wins with, “Aw shucks!”.
13. Driving a fast car on a highway with no traffic is the closest a person can get to the joy a dog feels when its let off its leash in a park.
14. Apparently ordering “boneless water” is the new way of asking for “no ice, please”. #AtLeastIHopeSo
15. The “5-second rule” is not subject to inflation. #maybe