What I Learned This Week - 6/29/18

1.  538 days until Star Wars Episode IX is in theaters.
2. Nothing says sad like a decommissioned school bus towing a hearse.
3. Apparently, the phrase, “tongue punch” is a euphemism meaning “I really want to eat that because it looks so delicious” and not the sexual innuendo I was expecting. #StillUncomfortable
4. If your Labrador Retriever is having sneezing fits, check her snout for bees. #PoorGirl
5. According to my youngest, it would be terrifying if ostriches laid their eggs in trees. #agreed
6. Best comment overheard this week by a little boy at a restaurant to a fully tattooed bus-boy, “wow, your arm looks like one of the desks in detention at my school”. #BeenThere
7. A little girl’s baby doll can be extremely terrifying when you use it to tap someone on the shoulder while they are sleeping. #CallTheAmbulance
8. One of the most underrated human anatomy abilities is the ability to detect hair in food. #ew
9. There is a universal joy in watching or being the person to skip their first rock on purpose.
10. I would like to be a fly on the wall in the meeting rooms that decide why some commercials were deemed, “THAT’S THE ONE!!!”. #NotTheTargetAudience
11. If all of the ghost/spirit hunting shows are true, all I really need to scare them off is a camera. #ExorcismByNikon
12. You can melt your kids’ minds by mentioning that their old self is actually their younger self. 
13. You will get very puzzled looks when you refer to plugging something into a power outlet as, “use the domesticated lightning”.
14. I have no idea how many I-will-remember-this-forever moments that I’ve forgotten, even the ones that I have keepsakes for. #WhyDoIHaveThisRock
15. I’m pretty sure most management I meet doesn’t really understand the word “innovation”. #UsingExcelIsNotInnovation
16. After four movies, I don’t know why dinosaur zoos don’t have door knobs instead of door handles. #MaybeThe5thTimeIsACharm