What I Learned This Week - 9/13/19

1.  97 days until Star Wars Episode IX – the Rise of Skywalker is in theaters.
2. I’m one of the few people that think a watch is broken when it only tells time. 
3. You will make an IT’s guy day when he’s troubleshooting something and gets a server error and respond with “weird, I thought that was a waiter bringing me the wrong meal”. #MaybeNot
4. The Postal Service should be a permanent fixture in society based on the sole ability to read everyone's handwriting. #ReallyThatsWhatItSaid
5. “It is not” can be contracted into “it’s not” or “it isn’t” but can’t contracted to “it’sn’t”. #IsntIt
6. According to a coworker, you know you’re a true adult when the definition of peer pressure is the sound of a neighbor mowing their yard. #ouch
7. While listening to a child in line at the airport sing the song, “BINGO”, it occurred to me that the song never clearly identifies who is named “Bingo”. #FarmerOrDog
8. Cutting the rings off a six pack is not considered plastic surgery, but it should be. #CallMeDrMcBeery
9. If you look at a random person with a mocking expression for more than two seconds, that person will question themselves for the rest of the day. #AirportProTip
10. Best dog name of the week, “Peter Barkour”. #maybe
11. The young man bagging my groceries made a compelling argument that all people born via c-section were hatched, not birthed. #HadNoComebackForTheShell
12. My dogs have no idea they are the main reason for most of their walks. #BrainCramp
13. I don’t know why people continue to speak after stating, “here’s a thought”. #NoItsAStatement
14. Before the invention of cameras, no one on earth had seen themselves as an infant. #ExceptTimeTravellers
15. I’m pretty sure iPhone cameras are produced by mitosis. #maybe
16. Television commercial breaks seem to last forever, until you need to do something during the break. #NoWayIPeedForTwoMinutes
17. Ending a race can be either a sporting mishap or a mass murder. 
18. Anyone who has used the phrase “dirt cheap” has never bought dirt before. #ItsHowMuch
19. My wife beams when she hears my kids reference, “well I am my mother’s child” as a compliment. #MoreThanTheyKNow