What I Learned This Week 6/23/23

1. While I subscribe to the "happy wife, happy life" philosophy, I also sometimes enjoy, "slightly irritated wife, amusing life" as well. #UseWithExtremeCaution
2. I don't know where every Dad learned the rule to click the tongs twice before touching anything in the grille, but we all do it. #ItsKindaFun
3. It's that time of year where people should be reminded to dress for the summer body they have and body the summer body they want. #WayTooMuchSpandex
4. Younger co-workers that leave the original stickers on their hats don't get my Minnie Pearl references. #ImSoOld
5. It's not as hard as you think to crash a boat while tying to free a stuck lure. #Almost
6. Towing a person in a Chilbo Schwaggins behind a boat will never not be fun. #TooFastSorry
7. I have no idea what Jake's gold Spin-a-Lure is supposed to imitate but I do know it just works. #weird
8. Apparently, "#2 Dad" coffee mugs exist.#LaughedHarderThanIShouldHave
9. No one believes that K-mart was my generations Target until they see an old video. #BlueLightSpecial
10. I watched a child at the airport use a party favor to swipe her tablet screen up instead of using her hands and now have confirmation the human species is accelerating its decline. #WasStillJealous
11. Although "700 million people are smarter than you" may sound like an insult, it would actually put you at the 90th percentile of intelligence. #MathIsWeird
12. Parenting is a lot of finding the best relatable analogy - most recently proven with, "you know when you watch your parents struggling to use technology, that's how we feel when you try to date". #truth
13. The brain may have named itself, but it also recognized that it named itself and was surprised when it realized that it named itself. #HurtsMyBrain
14. I don't know why it's called a "Tongue Depresser" when it is primarily used for pressing and my tongue is never sad afterwards. #EmotionlessTongue
15. An 85 pound black lab can sound exactly like squeezing the last portion of the ketchup out of the bottle. #NotUsingKetchupAnymore
16. Doggie boots that make the sound of Squidward Tentacles walking will always make me giggle. #PoorLexie
17. "For your age" is an unnecessary addition to any compliment and actually makes it an insult. #JustSayILookGood