What I Learned This Week 08/04/23

1.  Indoor floor pool with soccer balls is a thing. #Poolball
2. I saw a kid at the airport wearing a shirt that read, "I don't know who needs to hear this but it's time to eat cheese with pants on", and I felt a little attacked. #BetterWithNoPants
   
3. "Don't replace employees with AI" is the call of people who don't understand the CEO is also an employee of the company. #Maybe
4. If Google autocorrects your search misspelling to, "Nippless Cage" you will laugh harder than you think. #SoManyMemes
5. If someone refers to maple syrup as "pancake tears", you'll pause before you eat your next bite of pancake. #StillTastedGood
6. Best snarky response by a coworker with really bad sunburn to coworkers teasing about the benefits of sunscreen, "for the hundredth time, you aren't expected to wear sunscreen to the 3-D version of Oppenheimer". #SatInFIrstRow
7. I don't know what transpired in my local grocery that the watermelons are labeled "boneless" and I'm pretty sure I'm better off not knowing. #BonelessVeggies
8. You can instantly stress out anyone just by shouting "catch".#OrWeNeedToTalk
   
9. If an old basset hound barks loud and long enough, every Google device in the house will respond, "I'm sorry, I don't understand the that". #NeitherDoI
   
10. There is a large number of people who wholly believe that the "club" in club sandwich is an acronym regardless of food history documentation. #Clubhouse
11. Best bathroom stall scribe of the week, "You are sentient ego-based psyche piloting a meat-coated skeleton created from exploding hearts of long dead distant stars riding a rock orbiting a nuclear fireball at a cruising speed of 67,00 miles per hour - fear nothing". #Woah #FartNoises
12. People who wonder why only dogs get zoomies have never had kids. #AtLeastAJayne
13. I can tell if a guy is a girl dad just by the way he responds to my handshake-hug greeting. #90PercentAccurate 
14. Due to a slipup by my boss, all online meetings are now referred to as "talking to the guy in my computer". #Fact
15. You know your friend might have a drug problem when they ask, "Did you know that sandwiches fit in weed bags?" #Maybe
16. The larger someone's favorite number is the weirder they get. #5318008
17. Shark week motivational posters stating, "Have the fortitude of a shark and survive five mass extinctions" obviously know something we probably shouldn't. #scary