What I Learned This Week - 9/22/23

1.  Of all the things the Star Wars community is discussing, the most entertaining is how Ahsoka fits the turtleneck shirts over her montrals. #DoesVelcroExistInStarWars #ForcedOn
   
2. The best part of the recent F1 Singapore GP were the yellow flags for big lizards on the track. #NotGodzilla
   
3. Conversations around the order of operations for drying oneself post shower are fascinatingly hilarious, at least according to three bourbon Lee.#YouDryWhat
4. A coworker stated that a dog was sitting on the chair at the receptionist stand of the vet and it occurred to me that shouldn't be a one off and all vets should have it. #CustomerService
5. After people watching a the airport I've come to the conclusion that men have two specific nonverbal head nod greetings, (1) an upwards nod means, "S'up bro" and (B) a downwards nod means, "Hello sir". #maybe
6. I don't know why apps ask me how I like their product because it seems obvious if I didn't like it I'd uninstall and leave some constructive criticism or if I liked it I would spend the $1.99 and buy it. #StillInDatingPhase
7. Whenever I see a car painted as the Dukes of Hazard General Lee, I hear the TV Show narrator, Waylon Jennings, state "Looks like those Duke boys are at it again". #WhatWouldBossHoggDo
8. I was today years old when I learned the singer of the Duke's of Hazard TV show theme song was the narrator. #WaylonJennings #KnewItWasSomeCountryGuy
9. In modern US culture any noun can become a verb because people just don't care anymore. #GoAheadBrainIt
10. Although it is an actual word, I've never heard or seen written in any literature a single instance of the word "gruntled". #ExceptDictionary #OppositeOfDisgruntled
11. Best school yard burn heard at a food truck this week goes to, "You know they used to be called jumpolenes until your mom bounced on one". #ThreeGroupsSaidDamn
12. A local government has declared a "pickleball emergency" and leads me to believe that government agencies don't understand what actually constitutes an emergency. #AnnoyingIsntAnEmergency
13.  After raising three girls I have learned the one thing that all men need to carry in their wallet that girls are in need of the most often and that thing is a hair tie. #ExceptLeah
14. Hair ties are also how girls mark their territories and that's why they always are out of them. #maybe
15. I'm at that point in my life where younger coworkers ask for relationship advice of "so my girlfriend feels as if she's the celery on my buffalo chicken wing plate" and I've never had more respect for the communication skills of a someone I don't know before. #SpeakingToHisLevel
16. If you reorganize furniture using feng shui, you get to blame feng shui for not providing balance but a messy house. #maybe
17. If you show up to a post lunch meeting with remnants of fur and glitter on your shirt, you will receive no less than 34 comments on going to the strip club over lunch regardless of as showing them how many flies you tied at lunch. #ProductiveLunch 
18. You will also get at least two comments about your daughters being too old for lunchtime art projects. #NeverTooOld
19. Apparently, my middle daughter isn't the only one that calls glitter, "stripper dust". #StillFunny
20. I like the conspiracy theory the F-35 that went missing was because its AI became self-aware and ejected the pilot to hide, then started hijacking other military aircraft AI causing the 2 day ground stop. #NeedsToBeAMovie 
21. Mark Hamill does an amazing and hysterical Harrison Ford impression. #HeyKid
22. I'm in the minority that finds it funny that no one refers to Twitter by its new name. #NoOneActuallyNotices
23. A snicker reward chart is far superior to a sticker reward chart for flossing, but very counterproductive. #LooksAtMadly 
24. According to a coworker, if he dies choking while consuming the massive bag of gummies bears, I'm just supposed to tell everyone that he was killed by a bear and leave it at that.#Goals
25. I don't know why the words "female" and "tamale" are pronounced differently, but from here on out I will be pronouncing them as the latter. #SimplifyEnglish
26. I'm surprised by the amount of people who don't get the reference to the response, "Katie Couric?The TV host or the unit of measurement?". #BlankStares