What I Learned This Week - 9/29/23

1.  Many of my favorite movies pre-date the birth of the majority of my coworkers and I now completely understand the people in my youth that were enamored by Humphrey Bogart. #Ooooooh
   
2. Best nerd rock band name this week goes to, "Imagine Baggins". #LightMyShire
   
3. My coworkers don't appreciate me referencing them as Hobbits when they go for second coffee. #maybe
4. Nothing in life prepares you for trying to get out of a beanbag chair in your 50's. #maybe
5. You know you're in a classy convenience store when there's a toy next to the cash register with a sign that reads, "Squeeze pig no more than ONCE for service". #Squeezed4Times
6. The word "nifty" is a shortened version of the word "magnificent" and so I've been using "nifty" wrong my entire life. #CoolStoryBro
7. Fat Bear Week starts next Monday, go here (https://explore.org/fat-bear-week) to fill out your bracket because it costs nothing by a smile. #HibernationPrep
8. Juicy Fruit gum has changed its formulation and is now sugar-free and yellow and makes me much sadder than it should. #NotMyJuicyFruit
9. Apparently, actor/stuntman Johnny Knoxville gets routinely mistaken for Jamie Lee Curtis and I can't unsee it. #HotDogFingers
10. A random guy texted me a photo of his naked torso with fake eyelashes on his nipples and I'm having a difficult time deciding if I need a new friend. #Creative
11. According to Google analytics, Google's predictive autocomplete in the search bar saves approximately 200 years' worth of typing each day. #CantTypeThatFast
12. I had no idea that Google has had a feature that allows you to hum a tune to find the original song for over three years. #Handy
13. Regardless of what each vendor states, the only factor limiting the number of tabs you have open in your favorite browser is your computer's memory capacity. #AllModenBrowsersAreInfiniteTabs
14. Two of my coworkers test the infinite browser tab limit daily. #HowDoYouFindAnything
15. If you search for "wubba lubba dub dub" in Google, it will ask you if you meant "I am in great pain please help me" and I have no idea what to do with this information. #RickAndMorty
16. According to the seven tattoo parlors I called, I'm now too old to get a tattoo of grape that will gradually transform into a raisin before I die. #darn
17. My wife will not play Ninja shopping with me because the thought of sneaking around the store taking the items we need out of other people's carts, "creeps her out". #maybe #TakesTooLong
18. Several people now send me the weird things their kids/grandkids say in hopes to get on this list and the best this week came from three different people whose child/grandchild refers to spicy food as "mouth angry". #WontNameThree
19. I can't wait to go back to my alma-mater this weekend to show all my former professors who said, "You need to memorize this because you won't always have a calculator in your pocket" my phone and the 11 forms of apps that are basically calculators. #RevengeTour 
20. According to a former coworker, the most important thing I taught him was that "an optimist believes the glass of water is half full, the pessimist believes the glass of water is half empty and that Microsoft Excel believes the glass of water is January 2". #MoreTrueThanFunny
21. You never realize how much you use the internet until you go through your search history for forty minutes looking for something from yesterday. #OooSideQuest
22. I don't know why it feels worse to get hit by rain dripping off something than getting hit by rain straight from the sky. #Cooties
23. The higher you go up in a building, the cleaner the stairs are. #EwGwoss
24. Sick days aren't as much fun as an adult as they were as a child. #Responsibilities
25. The traditional catered meal for a hurricane anniversary party is tacos and margaritas. #WhoKnew