What I Learned This Week - 10/13/2023

1.  The new suburbia trend of taking a 25-foot Halloween decoration skeleton from Home Depot and making it look like it is coming out of a giant oversized pink Barbie box ultimately fails for me because the skeleton is nowhere near Barbie's proportions. #DetailsMatter
   
2. Las Vegas has gambling odds for nearly everything on the planet, but there is no betting line for when the new giant sphere will be hacked. #IGiveIt18Mos
3. It occurred to me recently that the reason I don't answer the phone for unknown numbers likely stems from watching too many '80's slasher movies. #ImNotAlone
4. I'm not the only one that won't be surprised if in the near future all Tesla owners find themselves locked inside their cars being automatically navigated to work at X headquarters with a dashboard message of "You're Elon's now". #Plausible.
5. Everyone forgets the fact that in order for flowers to bloom in Antarctica, something needed to occur in the past to have flowers there in the first place. #NativeSpecies
6. Best overheard comment in a restaurant this week, "...when I first heard the name of actor who plays the Hulk was Mark Ruffalo, I thought they were telling me their dog's full legal name". #ActuallyBarkRuffalo
7. I think the biggest reason people like working from home stems from a deep-rooted fear established in the early 2000's that your coworkers could secretly nominate you for "What Not to Wear". #ohTheTrauma
8. I don't know why all the different versions of Spider-man movies have different actors for all parts except the one that plays J. Jonah Jameson. #Multiverse
9. Best greeting at a bar this week goes to, "I'm going to dye my hair blue and call myself Marge, because I love you homie". #RightInTheFeels
10. Best follow up comment to the greeting, "You ever fart so long your butt has to take a breath?" #SpitOutMyBeer
11. When someone asks you what cologne you're wearing and you respond, "Avon racecar", the confused look they have is an indicator you should probably have considered their age before you responded. #StillFunny
12. Several different versions of the Avon racecar cologne bottles are extremely rare and collectable, selling for as much as $1,000. #WhoKnew
    
13. I don't know what occurred in my past to make me think if I don't stay awake to a certain time I've lost. #MentalGames
14. The Norwegian word for speed bumps is "fartshumper" and I'm not sure how to use this information. #WeirdAction
    
15. It is not true that you can de-escalate any situation with the simple question, "Are we about to kiss?" #maybe
16. My new favorite past time is using ChatGPT to generate fake biblical passages to cite Jesus' requirements of when a meeting should actually be accomplished with an email. #SoMuchFun
17. There is a new TikTok trend to attach the novelty firework Pop-Its to Nerf darts and video shooting siblings and I'm sad that I didn't think of it first. #ReactiveTargetOption 
18. Most relatable comment in an argument between a couple of maintenance workers, "you are the human form of cracker crumbs in bed". #RightInTheFeels 
19. It has come to light recently that everything I know about classical music comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons and Fantasia. #NoApologies
20. The best comment from a barista this week while I'm trying to make small talk, "do you want personality skills or motor skills because I can only do one at a time?" #EffectiveCommunication
21. People who change their Facebook relationship status to "in a toxic relationship with the Denver Bronocs" are funny. #Maybe
22. According to Google Analytics, 2/3 of the viewers of this list are bots from Singapore. #BoredHackers
23. A "backronym" is an alternate definition to an existing acronym (IE: SWAG originally was the acronym for "Souvenirs, Wearables and Gifts" but now commonly means "Stuff We All Get"). #TheMoreYouKnow
    
24. According to a little boy in the grocery checkout line, "witches don't fart, they cast smells". #WitchCraft
25. Watching a 6-year-ish boy run around his mom chasing his little sister and miming "casting a smell" waving a banana and making farting noises will leave me with inability to breathe. #StillCrying
26. There is a very fine and vague line between archeology and grave robbing. #profits
27. I'm on board with the online petitions for online retailers to have black Friday deals on groceries. #savings