What Learned This Week - 10/6/2023

1. You can accidentally permanently delete a blog post (that took you a weekend to write) fairly easily from your phone. #Oopsie
   
2. I have no idea why every night I ask my deaf dog where her diaper is. #SheNeverKnows
   
3. Seeing a 14-year-old basset hound wearing a diaper with suspenders is just as humorous, sad, and pathetic as you'd imagine. #LikelyMeSomeday
4. Many lasting friendships are built on a solid foundation of sarcasm, alcohol, laughter, and dislike of the same people. #Reunions
5. My 30-year college reunion has also taught me that adult relationships are hard because everyone is really, really, really, tired. #Maybe
   
6. At my next college reunion, I'm going to bring candy necklaces for everyone, but instead of candy they will contain antacids and ibuprofen. #Maybe
   
7. There's always one person in a group performing an ice breaker exercise that makes you regret the exercise. #ImThatPerson
8. Although it's true to state, "the US was founded over seven years ago", it doesn't make you sound intelligent ... or so my boss says. #WiseGuy
9. I don't know why the words "pony bologna" rhyme but the words "sean bean" do not. #HateEnglishRules
10. According to several science and philosophy references, the mathematician, Pythagoras, believed that beans where related to humans because in their early growth period beans look exactly like a human fetus and incredibly this is not known as the "Pythagoras Theory". #Maths
11. The older I get I believe Sisyphus is behind the concept of the modern US work force. #NeverEnds
12. When a coworker states, "you know, sarcasm will never get you anywhere" and you respond, "well. it got me to the Sarcasm World Championships in Stockholm in 02", they will sit very quietly for far too long trying to not ask the follow-up question. #SarcasmFTW
13. I heard a plan for a coworker to decorate a skeleton on a meat tray to make a "char-spook-erie" board and I'm seriously questioning what dip goes with that. #Ketchup
14. At some point in the future, I'm going to bring glitter, popcicle sticks, macaroni, construction paper, and glue to a local beer place and make it an official craft brewery. #maybe
15. I'm fairly certain the people that put doorbells in commercials have never-ever owned a dog. #SoMean
16. Researchers have corrected their finding that crows will congregate at a recently deceased crow as a funeral, but they gather to assess threats to their flock's safety - so basically, it's a "murder investigation". #Truth
17. If you type the word "ghost" enough, the "h" in ghost starts to look like a little ghost waving to you. #Spoopy
    
18. People who ask me if they can ask a stupid question never like my answer.#YouJustDid
    
19. Charmin spent the last five years researching and developing a new "clean tear" perforation to reduce the chance of the toilet paper tearing somewhere other than the perforation cementing my belief that product manufacturers have completely lost touch with how and where their product is used. #oooStainedWiggleyLines
20. My wife hasn't figured out that I pause the movie when she leaves the room not so that she doesn't miss anything, it's so I don't miss the experience with her. #OverlyAttachedHusband
    
21. The local gun shop won't appraise my 1989 limited edition 10 round Nerf blast-a-ball gun and I think they've just lost a long-time customer. #maybe
22. There's a certain level of comfort I get talking to people who remember when car high beam switches were on the floor. #OoopsSorry
23. I witnessed a man at the airport recharging his shoes and after questioning him on all the technology options that could use power, I was visibly disappointed when he finally replied, "Aw man, they just light up". #IHave50PatentIdeas
    
24. "Warm, glazed-donut-ice-cream-sandwiches" are a thing...a very delicious thing. #16,000Calories