What I Learned This Week - 10/27/2023

1.  If you put a certain wig on a bull terrier it will closely resemble a poodle. #MaskTheThreat
2. There is a special joy teaching my younger coworkers that McDonald's has its own meta-verse and watching them become appalled by the existence of the Fry Guys, Captain Crook, and Evil Grimace. #InterwebzFTW
3. The last sitting office president to have facial hair was Benjamin Harrison in 1893 and I'm sure there's an epiphany on current politics in there somewhere. #EpicBeards
4. This week's random distraction is listening to Scottish people attempt to say aloud, "Purple Burglar Alarm". #FeelTheirPain
5. A local bar describes their version of Rocky Mountain Oysters as "the original western sack lunch" and that's just brilliant. #truth 
6. The band, "Rage Against the Machine", never explicitly specified which machine they were upset with and I support the theory that it was more than likely a printer. #maybe 
7. I'm not alone in the self-masochistic routine of eating way too much wasabi with each bite of sushi. #HurtsSoGood
8. If you ever want to see a community lose it's collective mind, use helicopters to lower workers and supplies to repair corroding structural members of electrical transmission towers over the course of a Monday in a residential area. #SoManyConspiracyTheories
9. After an exhaustive search of the Googles, there is no confirmed expiration length from the time one receives their first cooties shot, so you might be due for a booster. #StayHealthy
10. Given the increasing prevalence of artificial intelligence forgeries, I predict a resurgence of using blood signatures for genetic verification when signing contracts. #Maybe
11. I don't know when everyone collectively learned how to turn their heads at someone speaking at the perfect speed to make it not look creepy or as if they were startled. #FunInMeetings
12. As I get older, I'm a firm believer that your glasses are the hardest thing in the world to find without them. #TheyAreWhere
13. According to a dad in the pew behind talking to his small daughter, "um sure, communion is Jesus' lunchable". #DaddingFTW
14. Everyone is hungry until they see that one guy eat a burrito like it's a tube of gogurt.#Eww
15.  Apparently when the check engine light illuminates your dashboard, it's not proper to sing "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." #MaybeItsMySinging
16. The more I visit the grocery store the more I believe they just want me to walk around the store ticked off and not buy anything. #WhereTFIsIt?
17. My wife is lying about her long runs and actually taking magic lessons because there is no other reasonable explanation for her to find something I'm looking for in the place I just looked. #ShesAWizard