What I learned this week - 11/3/2023

1.  Everyone needs to have a person in their life with an opposite like of pickles so there are always "bonus pickle" moments. #WaitThatSoundedDirty
2. The general consensus of the office ping pong table is that nothing is more dehumanizing than chasing a wayward ping pong ball through the office. #StillFunny
3. If you think about it, everyone has kicked a pregnant woman at least once. #InTheWombThoughts
4. Playboy had a braille edition and I have so many questions. #FeelsSticky
5. I don't know why the two O's in the word "cooperate" have different sounds but the root word "coop" only has one sound and in order to make it sound correctly you need to add a hyphen for "co-op". #EnglishIsDumb
6. I'm at that age where yelling, "Serenity now!" during the stressful part of a meeting is completely lost on my coworkers. #BecomingFrankConstanza
7. A coworker just saw my calendar and stated, "just looking at your next week has me exhausted" and he has no idea how true that is. #Mgmt
8. I shouldn't have to develop a department policy mandating that the Christmas Holiday season doesn't start until after Thanksgiving, but I did. #MariahCanWait
9. Although it's unproven, I like the idea that Ewan McGregor's brother, Colin, used the call sign "Obi-Two" when he was a pilot in the United Kingdom's Royal Air Force. #SoundsDirty
10. I like to think there was a Greek philosopher who came up with everyday philosophies that were commonplace and his name was Mediocrates. #maybe
11. Showing your whining dog a clock and explaining to them how time works and that it's an hour before dinner doesn't help them understand, but it does make you feel better. #SortOf
12. I'm not afraid of much, but the recent event of having an unfamiliar small child crawl under the door of the bathroom stall I was in, ask me a question, unlock the door, then exit through the open door to get his mom will have me in therapy for a while. #NeverUseHCStallsAgain
13. I love technology more than most, but I don't understand the need for sunglasses that have tint controlled by your smartphone. #TooManySteps
14. There are now condoms that change color when they come in contact with certain STDs and I think the post coitus interaction would make an amazing reality TV show. #MaybeNot
15. I'm spoiled enough to believe there is nothing more painful than entering my username and password in an app using the TV remote. #Technology
16. I don't know why taco bars don't have a nacho cheese fountain at the end to dip your taco in and someone should normalize that besides me. #JustSaying