What I Learned This Week - 2/23/18

1.  664 days until Star Wars Episode IX is in theaters.
2. No one realizes that Dad jokes were usually once bachelor jokes but no one was around to hear them the first time. #SadLonelyManThatAmusesHimself
3. I am very saddened that Forest Gump did not crash the premier of the movie “Black Panther” and use one of his best lines. #SorryIRuinedYourBlackPantherParty.
4. When counting aloud and starting at zero, your lips don’t touch until you state one million. #fact
5. You just counted in a whispered voice to prove number four and that makes me happier than it should. #ImFunny
6. Since cotton is a crop, I’m fairly certain all cotton shirts are “crop-tops”. #maybe
7. I’ve likely caused severe emotional trauma to my daughters by stating, “How does this crop top look on me”. #DadNOOO
8. The movie and TV series “Mission Impossible” clearly doesn’t understand the meaning of its title. 
9. I subscribe to the interwebz theory that most winter Olympic events started as a dare. #maybe
10. When someone wants to live the life of a dog, I immediately question why they would want to live a life not understanding the majority things around them, most languages, and have nearly everyone they come in contact with want to randomly touch them. #KindaCreepy
11. “Bagpipe-Cover-Band” is a thing….a glorious thing. #RedHotChilliPipers #OMG
12. Seals have claws. #YesWay
13. There’s a big difference between “wail” and “whale”. #SizeMatters
14. Trying to explain the horror of not finding the VHS tape behind the display box at Blockbuster is completely lost of my kids. #WayWorseThatNoShowOnNetflix
15. Best nerd quote of the week, “you’re as useless as a shoe shop in the Shire”. 
16. I am always sadly disappointed when my wife states there is something in the fridge that has gone bad and upon opening the fridge door find no items wearing a leather jacket and smoking a cigarette.
17. The list of words containing “meow” surprisingly includes, “homeowner” - I have no idea what to do with this information. #woof