What I Learned This Week - 1/30/26

1. The existence of Scooby-Doo implies the existence of Scooby-Don’t.#Maybe
2. If you ever make coupons for random intimate acts for a potential partner, make sure to add an expiration date because an ex showing up at your house to cash in a foot rub coupon puts you in a really bad position. #WifeWantsOneToo
3. I think I’ve reached the age where I have ROMO - Relief From Missing Out. #WhewNoDinnerPlans
4. Whether they know it or not, everyone has a “waffle” or “pancake” preference for hand-holding with special people. #WaffleFTW
5. The best comment heard in line at the grocery store line this week goes to a woman talking to her exasperated partner, “Why would I finish a thought when I have a new, much more exciting one”. #AtLeastShesHonest
6. Apparently, “the fridge making ice” is the scariest sound one can hear when how alone watching intense, scary movies. #NotForMe
7. Barilla pasta has a spotify playlist with songs named after their pasta shapes that are the exact duration as the time it takes to cook that pasta. #Genious

What I Learned This Week - 1/23/26

1.  I don’t know why “Mac-N-cheese-flavored-jelly” needs to exist. #GaggingNoises
2. No one can stop you from using three Hawaiian rolls instead of a hot dog bun. #StillDelish
3. If you walk into a bar restroom and the stall door is made of cardboard, you can be sure that a fight is about to break out any second. #IHidBehindTheBar
4. Google can’t answer the conundrum, “if someone dies using items from your first aid kit, do you need to rename it your last aid kit”? #DeepThoughts
5. I don’t understand why the Flintstone’s vehicles weren’t powered by some tiny dinosaur like all their kitchen appliances, and if they had to run to operate their vehicle why they didn’t just run without it. #DontRewatchOldCartoons
6. I don’t think I’ve heard of a single case of “Spontaneous Human Combustion” since I was ten. #WhatHappened
7. The existence of the words boyfriend/girlfriend implies the existence of the words boyfoe/girlfoe and I think it is time to normalize this. #maybe
8. Best t-shirt this week goes to a woman with very large boobs and wearing a face mask whose t-shirt read, “Most problematic maiden at the joust”. #NotForMe
9. If a family member asks what you’re watching and you reply, “a film about the misconceptions of ownership and land rights of wetlands under an absolute monarchy”, you’ll get to watch Shrek in peace by yourself. #Maybe
10. No one has been able to give me a reasonable answer to why the term, “non-binary”, has a masculine and feminine form in other languages. #BrainHurts
11. I honestly don’t know how Social Studies teachers right now are supposed to teach about the three co-equal branches of the government and what their functions are. #ChecksAndBalances
12. I have a hard time explaining to my eight-year-old self that at some point in time he’d be confronted with the conundrum, “Is that AI generated or is it cake?”. #NothingIsReal
13. I don't understand why baking shows don't start with 13 contestants. #BakersDozen
14. Anyone can call themselves an olympic hopeful, there's no formal paperwork for hope. #CueTrumpets
15. When you misspell “hemoglobin”, your blood becomes infected with science fantasy creatures with +2 hit points. #HemoGoblins
16. There are people that mix their peanut butter and jelly together then put it on bread to make a PB&J. #ActualGoblin
17. In 1975 the Pillsbury company introduced “weiner wraps” which were pre-cut dough for hotdogs and were discontinued in the US in 1979 due to their “suggestive and provocative” name. #TimesHaveChanged